I want to talk to you about the Amazon Kindle. Probably best if you say that in your best John Bentley voice.

See, the Amazon Kindle is not your typical sex toy. Some might say it’s not a sex toy at all. And maybe they are right – maybe it’s not a toy.

But it’s definitely built for pleasure. Let me explain.

If you are a fan of erotic fiction – erotica as I shall refer to it from here on in – then you may well own a book or two already. No doubt good generic titles that no one will give you too hard a time for reading. Maybe one of those Mammoth books that cover so many different genres.

Alternatively, you may do most of your reading on the net, preferring to stick to the free adult erotica sites, like Literotica or Nifty.

And that’s fine too.

A quick read, then wipe your browser history and away you go. Happy days.

But what if you want to enjoy your erotic books away from the computer – in the bath maybe – and you don’t much fancy perching your brand new laptop precariously on the side of the bath.

What are your options?

Well, you can buy the paper book. That’s one way. No risk of a bath-time disaster or electrocution. But also unless you’re very open with your partner (and have no prying kids) or you live alone, then you can’t really get very adventurous with your book choices.

What if you wanted to read some heavy BDSM or even some Gay erotica?

What would your wife / girlfriend say if they suddenly found your book stash?

None too impressed, a bunch of unpleasant conversations and some funny looks no doubt.

How about if you wanted to just experiment with a few different genres? Maybe you aren’t too sure which would be your favourite. More paper backs and potentially an ebay session a few weeks later to get rid of your unwanted choices.

Annoying.

Or you could go with the Kindle.

A bit like your adventures with PC based porn back in the mid-to-late ninties, you could download a stash of high quality (read: silicone enhanced) grot and stash it neatly in some horrendously nested folder structure only you could ever find. Safe in the knowledge that computers were so complicated, no one would even try to find your stash, let alone understand how.

On the Kindle you can stash your erotica choices amongst Dickens, Wilde and Rowling.

Or you’re selection of autobiographies. I’m not judging.

You have one device that gives you access to all your favourite reading materials, and no one would be any the wiser to your choice of story – whether you’re on the bus, in the bath or on a plane.

Anyway, I guess the same goes here for the iPad. But that’s a slightly different beast in that I don’t own one so can’t give a proper comment.

So with all that said, that’s why my Mrs gave me a sex toy for Christmas this year without even realising. Cheers!

Interested? Get your Kindle from Amazon.

I wouldn’t normally post more ‘pressy’ things like this, but as it involves my favourite online store, I thought I might.

Lovehoney have had an interesting year – their first prime time TV advert ran in September of this year much to the alarm of some of the more conservative newspapery types. You know – the ones who would find something to complain about if the skies started raining gold.

And aside from growing yet again in terms of online presence, number and range of products in stock, and general all round just being great-ness, it’s interesting to see that Lovehoney are moving on to the Highstreet when most adult retailers are moving off it.

Posh City Types

On top of that, Lovehoney have being buying sex toy production facilities and will be rolling out their own lines uner the name of Rock Box to the American market in 2012. So all in, pretty interesting to see that they are expanding not only through a recession but also as most of the sex toy, and adult entertainment industry in general is struggling. And I mean struggling.

Now, guys, you may well not have heard of Coco De Mer. To give it the very rough low down, it’s a posh dildo shop. A dildo boutique for posh London types. They do of course sell some posh cock toys for us posh guy types, but we aren’t the primary market.

I imagine Lovehoney will be incorporating any toys they didn’t stock already from the Coco De Mer range into their ever growing arsenal. And with their buying power, no doubt they can bring the prices down too.

Or maybe not, sometimes prices are kept artificially high to keep footballers’ wives happy in the knowledge that they own more expensive sex toys than the rest of us, because they are richer. A bit like buying an Aston Martin Cygnet.

Still, if you are rich and want to own the posh man’s Cygnet sex toy equivalent, check out the Lelo range, such as the Tor cock ring – and don’t forget to check out my handy guide on how to wear a cock ring here. Shameless plug.

So still, men aren’t really an acceptable target market for sex toys on the high street. Which is a shame. Maybe ten years from now things will have changed.

But thankfully until then, we still have fast growing online shops like Lovehoney to satisfy our every need

Whatever your circumstances, sometimes you experience an unwanted sex drought. This used to mean a visit to the mental Wank-Bank in the company of Ms Palm and her Five Hairy Sisters.

Thankfully, in 2011, there are a number of alternative methods of self pleasure, and today we are going to take a look at those that enable us to go Hands Free

Segmented, For Your Pleasure

As this segment of the male sex toy’s market has expanded, our options have increased, giving us a variety of price points, realism levels and positional preferences. I have tried to cover all the different areas available and choose the very best products from each section.

All of the toys in this list have been given a Rough Price Guide, which is simply the price I found that particular sex toy at when I was doing this list, to give you an idea of whether you are getting a good deal or not, at your site of choice

The main thing I look for in any men’s sex toy is that the picture of the toy itself turns you on sufficiently to want to explore it for yourself, in person. Hopefully you will agree with my choices!

What is Cyberskin

Many of the products in this list are made from Cyberskin, so I thought I would quickly explain what it is.

Cyberskin / UR3 – It’s a fancy name for the latest technology designed to replicate the look and feel of human skin. Sounds kinda creepy put like that. Maybe Wikipedia will explain it better.

Best For: Chubby Lovers

I recently covered the April Flores chubby pussy cyberskin pussy, so head over there and read more if you’re interested.

Basically this is a sex toy for men who like their women on the curvier side, with extra plump flesh bits where it counts.

I’m guessing this toy isn’t selling that well as it keeps getting reduced in price. No bad thing as you could grab yourself a bargain here.

Pro’s

• One of very few toys out there for men who like chubby women
• Lovely plump pussy lips
• Low price point for a toy of this type

Con’s

• No arse hole :/
• Not for those who aren’t BBW / chubby fans
• Hard to use doggystyle

Rough Price Guide : £80-£100

In Summary

A fun, life size toy for guys who want to experience a taste of fucking a chubby / bbw woman.

Read More Reviews

• My review of the April Flores chubby cyberskin pussy
• April Flores Sex Toy! at Bizarre Mag

Video Previews

• Lovehoney
• April Flores herself introduces the toy at Youtube
• Real guy fucking the April Flores toy (NSFW by any means) at X Tube

Available From

• Lovehoney
• Sex Shop 365

Best For: Blowjob Fans

By far and away one of the most popular faces in the porn industry over the last 4 or 5 years has been that of Bree Olson.

You may well recognise her from her recent exploits with Charlie Sheen. But more than likely you know her from countless American porn flicks / scenes where Bree can regularly be seen taking cock in all of her holes. But it’s her mouth in particular that her toy was made to imitate.

Pro’s

• Decent detail, but generic enough to imagine she is just about any woman you like
• Much easier to hide than a full size sex doll
• You can insert a bullet vibrator to give a nice vibration
• Varying strength of suction, which you can control
• Blowjobs on demand!

Con’s

• Bit creepy
• Almost twice the cost of a Fleshlight ‘mouth’ insert
• If you’re face fucking Bree, you won’t see her face that much… if you get me.

Rough Price Guide : £120

In Summary

Most guys like blowjobs, and most girls aren’t quite as keen on giving them as we are on getting them.

If you need more features to give you that realistic feeling, or you just real like Bree Olson, then this could be a great sex toy for you.

If not, grab yourself a fleshlight mouth opening insert instead.

Read More Reviews

• Can’t find any more impartial reviews, for this one sorry

Video Previews

• Go to the ‘Video’ tab at SexShop 365

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexShop 365
• SexToys.co.uk

Best For: Graphic Anal

I have reviewed the Belladonna extreme ass and pussy toy before, which you can read here.

I’m not a huge fan of Belladonna, and I’m even less of a fan of extreme anal – gaping, stretching, or god forbid any of that other more intense stuff – but it’s still nice to see toys catering for people who like that sort of thing.

But overall this toy looks quite fun, and you can forget all about Belladonna if you so desire, once you have opened the box and got excited.

Pro’s

• Two holes
• Decent amounts of external detail
• Could DP this toy with a buddy, if you were feeling very kinky

Con’s

• Those hands get in the way of penetration
• Not deep enough to accommodate more than 6inches
• There are better toys out there for the money

Rough Price Guide : £75 – 120

In Summary

Read More Reviews

• There is my review here
• Customer reviews available at Sex Toys

Video Previews

• No one seems to have a video preview available, sorry!

Available From

• Sex Toys
• The cheapest place at time of writing was Lovehoney
• And the most expensive was Simply Pleasure
• Sex Shop 365

Best For: Low Budget Fleshlight Alternative

If you’re after the same sensation of a fleshlight for one third the price, then Jenna Jameson’s UR3 realistic pussy toy may well be exactly what you are looking for.

OK, so you don’t get the outer casing that you get with a Fleshy, but is that casing worth an extra £40-60 to you? Bearing in mind though, it will make it easier to hide and keep your toy pussy clean.

The one thing I don’t particularly like about this toy is that because it isn’t encased, you kinda feel like your cock is inside another cock. Bit strange.

But you can slide this between your matress, roll it in a towel, or between two pillows, lube it up and get fucking and forget about everything else.

Pro’s

• Cheap alternative to a Fleshlight
• Decent amount of detail
• Good ‘entry level’ men’s sex toy

Con’s

• Looks weirdly like your cock is sliding into a second cock
• Messy – open backed so be careful
• Not very tight
• Difficult to wedge between things

Rough Price Guide : £25-30

In Summary

A decent low cost alternative to a Fleshlight.

Read More Reviews

• Read the ones from ‘Buzz Man’ and ‘Horny Humper’ at Lovehoney, they are funny
• Decent, lengthy review at Sex Toys

Video Previews

• This one’s a bit ‘powerpoint’ @ Youtube

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk

Best For: Those Who Aren’t Satisfied With Just Jenna’s Pussy

I couldn’t review just Jenna pussy stroker without giving the other main option a once over as well.

If there was ever one girl in the porn industry who has been covered head to toe, it’s Jenna Jameson, so you shouldn’t be surprised to find out there’s heaps and heaps of toys based on all her parts out there.

So if you crave more than just a quick, cheap fuck with her pussy, then you may well consider her UR3 Vagina and Ass toy from Doc Johnson, one of the leading lights in the adult toy business.

As with any ‘branded’ product, I always worry that I’m paying a little overhead for the license, on top of the product. And there are ‘unlicensed’ alternatives (elsewhere in this list) that are more advanced and detailed. But they aren’t moulded from Jenna.

Anyway, you get full unrestricted access to one of Porn’s hottest pieces of Ass (and pussy) – and when you get bored of the vanilla fuck, you can insert the supplied vibrating bullet and experience the whole sensation again as though you just bought a brand new toy.

Pro’s

• The pubes – you will either love them or hate them.
• Pussy, Ass and Vibrating Bullet giving loads of options
• Decent, realistic sensation
• Easy enough to clean

Con’s

• Yep, them pubes – you will either love them or hate them.
• Not deep enough for larger guys
• Warming it up in the sink is a pain, so use the warm shower if possible

Rough Price Guide : £150

In Summary

A very decent, realistic looking pussy and arse toy that can be any girl you can dream of, not just Jenna Jameson, and she is always up for a shag.

Read More Reviews

• There’s a great video review below from DIY Orgasms
• More customer reviews at Lovehoney
• And more at SexToys.co.uk

Video Previews

• Awesome video review from DIYOrgasms – highly recommended @ Daily Motion
• Lovehoney have a decent video preview here

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk
• SexShop365

Best For: Realistic Anal

As a visitor to this site, you have probably heard about Fleshlight’s already – the original sex toy in a can.

Well, the Fleshlight crew haven’t sat back and rested on their laurels over the past few years, rather, they have continually reinvested in their product range and the modern Fleshy’s are a different league to the earlier models.

So I guess the first thing to cover really is what I get asked a lot about – is the Fleshlight still worth getting, now that the Spider has reinvented the Fleshlight-style casing. The answer isn’t so straight forward, so I suggest you read over my review (on the link) and the comments, and make up your own mind.

However, the other thing worth covering here is the Anal Factor.

Now, Anal is probably up their as fantasy number 1 on most guys list. Even if you have had anal with a willing partner, there’s a good chance you aren’t getting it regularly. Or as regularly as you would like anyway.

The sex toy industry realised this and has been trying to make a worthwhile, high quality anal toy for ages. And usually they fall short.

Not so with the Jenna Haze signature series Forbidden Fleshlight. In fact, not so with any of the Jenna Haze range, the oral and vaginal inserts are amazing too.

As you push past her tempting entrance, you encounter a tight ribbed, realistic sensation that gives way to her wavy colon! Ha!

You’re in for a real treat. And yes, you can use this insert – like any other Fleshlight or Race Utensil insert – with a Spider.

Top Tip: The fleshlight signature series only changes the external part of the insert – so you change the mouth, pussy lips or arse hole exterior, but the internal bit is the same for each porn star.

There are three inserts – the mouth, the pussy, and the arse. Each insert has it’s own internal feel – so the mouth doesn’t feel like a pussy when you’re inside it, but the mouth on the Jenna Haze Fleshlight is the same internally as the mouth on the Tera Patrick or Kitsuni Fleshlight… same for the pussy and the arse.

I just want to make that really clear! Hope it helps.

Not a fan of Jenna Haze?

What if you like the idea of fucking you’re favourite pornstar, but that’s not Jenna Haze?

Well, there are a number of alternative Fleshlight Girls available, including…

• Riley Steele
• Teagan Presley
• Tera Patrick
• Jesse Jane
• Lisa Ann (Tiger Wood’s mistress)
• … or even more

Or should you be so inclined, you could try one of the Fleshlight Male Pornstars:

• Brent Everett
• Joey Visconti
• … or the other guys

Pro’s

• The closest thing you will get to anal without being inside an arse
• The skin sensation / feel has been massively increased since the earlier fleshlights
• Feel’s just right – not too tight, not too loose

Con’s

• The ‘signature’ on the insert is a bit weird / pointless
• The internals don’t change between the different stars (See the top tip above for more info)
• It doesn’t vibrate

Rough Price Guide : £60-65

In Summary

Amazing. The very best anal experience I have ever had, outside of real anal.

And no need to worry about whether you’re hurting her.

Read More Reviews

• A forum thread of reviews at the official Fleshlight Forums
• Some customer reviews at Lovehoney

Video Previews

• A couple of Jenna Haze videos at the official Fleshlight site
• Fleshlight girls preview video at Youtube (very tame)
• Video preview from SexShop365 (click the video tab)
• Video preview from SexToys.co.uk (click the video tab)

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk
• Sex Shop 365

Best For: Fans of Ebony Girls

There aren’t a lot of options for the guy who likes ebony girls, which is a real shame as far as I’m concerned.

Sure, there’s the mocha Fleshlights, and of course you could always just use your imagination / watch some ebony porn, but it’s not quite the same.

Which is partly the reason why I love the Realistic Ebony Pussy and Arse from Cyberskin. Realistic that is, when you aren’t using it in vibrate mode, which takes it up another level.

This is one of the best, most life like fucks you will have – bar none. Unfortunately it comes in at quite a cost – near £250, but considering that’s basically two trips to an escort (or just one to a high class girl) and you realise the value here.

I’ve reviewed this toy before, so if you want to know more, click here.

Pro’s

• Very lifelike, whether you choose the ebony or ivory model
• Vibrating function for additional pleasure
• Very detailed, and deep enough to handle bigger guys
• Not just limited to doggy like the pictures suggest

Con’s

• Heavy, and hard to hide
• Pretty expensive
• Chilly, so remember to warm up under the shower or in a warm bath first

Rough Price Guide: £250

In Summary

One of the most realistic men’s sex toys available today, and a very high end product.

Read More Reviews

• My review is here
• Several customer reviews at Lovehoney
• Tons of reviews at Amazon USA

Video Previews

• Lovehoney have a preview video
• A guy actually using the Cyberskin Realistic Ebony Pussy and Arse at Xhamster (Very NSFW)

Available From

• Lovehoney
• Decent deal available at Amazon USA

Best For: High Quality at a Low Price

If you are a regular reader at SexToys4Men, you will know of my love for Race Utensil – a Japanese company who make really high quality, detailed and realistic pussy replicas.

Well this is the Utensil Race Fame Realistic Vagina and Ass, one of their range of three ‘full size’ pussy and arses, and as with all the Race Utensil products, it’s got great detail – internal and external – at a great price.

This isn’t going to be a huge toy in terms of size, and it’s a whole 11kg lighter than the Cyberskin Realistic Pussy and Arse above, but the way I look at this is that this is the pussy of a horny little Japanese pornstar compared to the round, voluptuous curves of an Ebony babe.

Of course, being smaller and lighter means it’s much easier to hide – and you can probably tell from the pictures (lots available at the Lovehoney site) that you could probably find a suitable drawer to store this toy in when not in use.

Pro’s

• Small, light and tight
• Half the price of other pussy / arse toys
• Race Utensil – their products are amazing quality

Con’s

• Not full size compared to the Cyberskin toy
• Maybe won’t be deep enough for bigger guys

Rough Price Guide : £100 – 110

In Summary

A great alternative to the more expensive life size pussy and arse toys.

Read More Reviews

• Struggling to find other reviews for the Utensil Race Fame Realistic Vagina and Ass sorry!

Video Previews

I can’t find any video previews of the Utensil Race Fame Realistic Vagina and Ass, however I have linked to two other realistic sleeves from Race Utensil, as the principle is still the same.

• Utensil Race Upwards Japanese Realistic Sleeve video
• Utensil Race Meiki Downwards Japanese Realistic Sleeve video

Available From

• Lovehoney

Best For: Brilliant Fleshlight Alternative

The Spider Hands Free Realistic Male Masturbator is the best men’s sex toy I have ever reviewed.

I’m really not going to go into great depths here as there is a ton of great info over on my review, and I would just be repeating myself.

All I will say is make sure you consider the Spider!

Top Tip: The Spider is 100% exclusive to Lovehoney in the UK right now, so there’s not much point trying to find an alternative seller.

Pro’s

• It’s a Fleshlight that can be stuck to walls
• Can use other inserts (Fleshlight, Utensil Race) instead of the Spider insert
• Slightly more expensive than a Fleshlight but the extra money buys you so much more flexibility

Con’s

• Makes you a little pissed that Fleshlight didn’t offer that suction cup right away
• The suction cup may lose suction under very heavy thrusting
• Slighty more expensive than a Fleshlight

Rough Price Guide: £90

In Summary

Easily the best Men’s sex toy of 2011. And probably 2012 too.

Read More Reviews

• My massive review
• More customer reviews at Lovehoney

Video Previews

• Preview video at Lovehoney

Available From

• Only Lovehoney at the moment

Best For: Full Size Sex Doll

Well out of everything on this list, this has to be the most WTF item. And at just shy of £730 quids, this is by far and away the most expensive.

And yet this is still not the most expensive sex toy I have ever seen – for that you would need to find the Real Doll which rocks in at about $6000 US dollars a pop. Madness.

Still, these dolls are not designed for mass consumption. The makers know they won’t be selling 1000′s a year, and that’s partly reflected in the price. Of course, they are expensive because of other reasons too.

Firstly your Teddy Babe will have a soft, velvety-plush material stuffed firmly with non-allergenic poly-fil, which both mimics the silkiness of human flesh while giving the character a warmth and a ‘cuddly’ dimension that is largely lacking in latex love dolls (blow up dolls), silicone love dolls, and other adult toys.

Also, your Teddy Babe’s breasts are full and soft. The nipples are made of the same velvety plush material and are soft, silky and kissable.

A Teddy Babe’s face is not intended to be ultra-realistic, but faithful to her nature as a sexy plush love doll character.

Her eyes are made of ultra-realistic printed decals supported by a plastic base. The eyes vary in style and color; depending on which Teddy Babes character they belong to.

Lips also vary in style and color from character to character, and are made of sleek, kissable latex rubber.

I’m sure I could go on, and on, and on… and that’s good because at this price you want a lot for your money. It’s good to know you’re getting it.

Pro’s

• You can replace their (her?) pussy with a Fleshlight, Race Utensil etc
• A full, life size girl that’s a very acceptable substitute for a real woman
• Fully pose-able with her wire frame skeleton, and you can dress her in a number of kinky outfits

Con’s

• No anal entry point… *sigh*
• Though she folds up, storage is going to be tricky
• The cost

Rough Price Guide: £730

In Summary

These dolls aren’t for everyone, and they are expensive.

However, with just a few ‘visits’ your doll becomes cheaper than seeing a lady of the night, and is also never going to give you an STD or ruin your

Read More Reviews

• Customer Reviews at Lovehoney

Video Previews

• Short preview at Youtube
• Long preview at Youtube

Available From

• Lovehoney

Best For: Hardcore Perverts

When Pipedream looked at the Men’s sex toy market they noticed a glaring omission – high quality, realistic, life sized replicas of mans favourite lady parts.

And being the gentlemen that they are, they then promptly plugged that gap with their awesome Extreme range.

I first saw the first glimpses of the Pipedream Extreme range back at the start of Summer in an adult trade journal called Erotic Trade Only. I remember thinking – wow, would I love to be rich enough to afford that.

These toys are aimed at richer folk than me, sadly. But I have seen the Pipedream Extreme Realistic Vagina and Ass Male Masturbator for myself, in the (fanta) flesh so the speak, and these don’t disappoint. I have to admit, I felt kinda grubby touching the flesh (and exploring inside) at a Tradeshow. Bit like sloppy 16ths… kinda says how life-like it is though.

The positional choices with this masturbator are basically limited to your imagination. It can do pretty much any position a lady could do, but of course you will need to hold it in some of the more complicated positions. And it’s pretty heavy – life-like as I say. Fat bottomed girls indeed.

Honestly, if I could afford this, I would buy it in a New York minute.

Pro’s

• Looks, feels and responds like the real thing
• Life size
• Positional possibilities

Con’s

• No vibrations – though you can put your own Bullet in the hole you aren’t using
• The cost
• The weight

Rough Price Guide : £320

In Summary

The product I most wish I could afford.

Read More Reviews

• Not so much a review as a lot of product detail at the Official Pipedream Website

Video Previews

• Great video review at Daily Motion

Available From

• Lovehoney

Yeah, But Which One Should I Buy?

Well, as ever that decision is really entirely up to you. You will know just by looking at them which turn you on and which are meh.

I would probably say if you own no sex toys at all, then start with a Fleshlight or a Spider if you have a little more money.

Both are the great entry points into the sex toys market, and both are remarkably easy to stash away from prying eyes.

And if you do own a sex toy already and are looking for something new, interesting or different, then I genuinely hope this list helps you decide.

In Conclusion

So that concludes my list of the very best hand’s free male masturbation toys available as 2011 comes to a close.

There are, of course, other options out there – alternatives on the same theme. You might prefer the Tera Patrick fleshlight girl over Jenna Haze, or the Maria Ozawa sleeve from Race Utensil instead of the full size pussy.

It’s good to have the choice.

And hopefully 2012 will only bring us more choice, more variety and more innovation.

Whether you already own a cock ring or two, or you are thinking of buying one, this handy video guide will help you actually use your cock ring properly.

In what I consider a huge flaw in the Sex Toy industry, and not just the Men’s side of the market either, but the sex toy industry in general, your typical Cock Ring won’t come with instructions.

It’s like there is some unwritten rule out there – harking back to the School playground days – where Men are expected to know how to use a sex toy instinctively, because it’s to do with our willys, and we have had them since birth :/

Anyway, when you find a video like this on Youtube, and you see there are 18,000 other viewers just to this video alone, you realise that actually, not every man is born with the knowledge of how to do everything right first time.

Why Should You Wear a Cock Ring

There are two main reasons why you might want to wear a cock ring.

The first is that a cock ring, properly in place and tight around your balls, will keep you harder, longer.

The second reason is that, as a result of the first reason, your cock has a stronger and firmer appearance. Which helps with confidence, mood and everything else required for good sex.

How Does A Cock Ring Work?

Cock Ring’s work by trapping the blood that naturally flows into your penis during an erection.

Your body would normally trap this blood anyway, but the penis ring helps the muscle tighten further, letting less blood out than your body naturally would. This is additionally beneficial if you have a disfunction in this muscle which would normally allow the blood to escape more easily, keeping your penis from staying hard.

A cock ring applied properly to the base of an erect cock will help stop the blood that is keeping the penis hard from returning to the body. In this manner, the cock ring helps maintain a firmer erection.

What Types of Cock Ring are Available?

There are various different types of cock ring – from the beginners to the hardcore types.

You will notice that the cock ring’s aimed at beginners are usually pretty stretchy, made for getting on and taking off easily.

The more hardcore, metal cock rings for example, require a bit more planning and practice – a good idea for any new sex toy, especially one which you use with a partner – but in my opinion they not only look better but produce a much tighter fit that helps you last longer.

Best For Beginners

It’s hard to go wrong with the Big Daddy Cock Ring – available in a number of different colours to suit your tastes.

It’s simple, effective and very highly reviewed. Worth a look, for sure.

Another simple but very effective design is this 7 Function Vibrating Magic Cock Ring 2.0 from Lovehoney.

This cock ring features a removable, powerful bullet vibe – making the stretchy rubber ring / sleeve easy to wash without damaging the vibe, plus giving your Mrs something to play with.

The inner loop sits around your cock shaft, and the second bigger loop straddles your ball sack, making a tight, pleasing fit that’s sure to make you look good and feel even better.

If you’re unsure whether your new cock ring will fit, why not go for this pack of three BASIC Sex Toys Get Hard Cock Ring Set, featuring a size to fit all – and if you’re daring, maybe you can get more than one on

Best For Hardcore Guys

This is the Heavy Metal Cock Ring in Medium, available at Lovehoney.

The thing with metal cock rings is you can basically forget about taking it off once your hard. And if you start freaking out at it’s tightness or whatever, you could be in for a rough ride.

Hence why I list them under the ‘hardcore’ section. I wouldn’t advise you try a metal ring until you have cut your teeth on a stretchy rubber ring.

Alternatively, whilst still looking very hardcore and coming from one of the leading brand in Men’s sex toys, you could try this Stretch to Fit Cock Ring from TitanMen.

You will definitely notice a difference in feel when using a thicker ring, and again, this makes the ‘hardcore’ list for that exact reason.

Returning to the heavy metal feel is this Tear Drop Heavy Metal Cock Ring.

The tear drop shape is probably my favourite looking cock ring to wear, but as a piece of pretty specialist engineering, unfortunately this awesome looking ring doesn’t come cheap. Being metal though, it will last forever.

And the orgasms you will have with this on blow anything else away.

Best For Couples

You might think that a cock ring would only ever really be used for couples, but some of the other cock rings in this guide can be used for solo pleasure as well.

This list focuses on those cock ring’s that are 100% designed for pleasuring your partner, but they don’t forget about you either.

You could try the Rocks Off 4 Us Vibrating Cock Ring.

Rock’s Off is a brand I have featured on SexToys4Men before. One thing worth noting is that whilst their products kick serious arse, the batteries they supply are pretty crappy, so make sure you pick up a replacement when purchasing (from Asda, Amazon or whatever) to avoid disappointment. The good news, these batteries work in all the Rocks Off products.

The vibrations you (the guy with the penis ) get from this are a lot stronger than your partner’s clitty will receive. It’s kinda teasey, but it’s good fun all the same.

Turn your cock into a vibrating whirlygig with the Screaming O Propello Dual Stimulation Vibrating Ring.

The good news here – it’s a pretty cheeky introduction to anal stimulation for your Mrs, if that’s not something she would normally go for. You can buy this, pretending you had no idea

The only downside I see here is the requirement for two batteries, but twice the fun for all

Lastly for couples, as I already covered the 7 Speed Vibrating Cock Ring I’m not going to do so again, but you can read a more in depth review of it here.

Best For Gadget Lovers

At just £7.99, you could buy this as a sort of jokey present, a bit like a sexy stocking filler for xmas. Or perhaps something to break the ice for your first time with your new partner… on second thoughts, that’s a terrible idea.

Anyway, I love how the Sex Counter Cock Ring ambitiously goes into the tens of thousands.

There’s a really in depth review of this product over at Lovehoney, and it kinda restates the fact that this is more of a novelty item than a proper long term sex aid. Could be fun though?

Technically not so much of a cock ring as a lady-parts-vibrator that you just happen to strap your cock in too.

This gadgetty little number has touch sensors that activate the vibrator part as it rubs against her clit during sex. This makes it completely hands free, so you and your partner can get on with enjoying yourselves, rather than playing with the remote.

Unusually for a sex toy of this type, it’s pretty cheap too – at only £12.59 as I write this. Get the Pussy Arouser Vibrator cock ring at SexToys365.

However, if you are looking for a cock ring with a remote control, then the Hero Remote Control Wireless Cock Ring could very well be for you.

Again, fortunately the inventors of this cock ring had the foresight not to leave a nasty dangling wire coming from the cock ring to the remote. The vibrations are as much for you as they are for her, and as this is a relatively simple design, there’s little to go wrong.

Cheapest Cock Rings

At this price – just £1.99 – you could afford to use this BASIC Sex Toys Love Ring just once and then throw it away.

Which is actually exactly what you’re supposed to do. This is a one time use only device, with a non-rechargeable bullet vibrator built in.

Oh the huge-manatees, think of the environment!

Can you live with your cock contributing to global warming? Still, it’s proper cheap tho, innit?

Worth checking out is this alternative.

Cheap, cheerful and with bold claims of making your erection last up to 400% long, that’s an extra 45 second’s worth of rod on

The imaginatively titled Love Ring is available at SexToys.co.uk for just £1.95 in ‘coloured’. How racist.

This is the RingO cock ring by Screaming O, at Lovehoney.

Strangely, they list three colours in the picture but I think it’s picked at random when you order. So you may end up with a colour you’re not happy with.

Still, at just £2.99 for a long lasting and effective cock ring, you can’t go too far wrong.

Most Expensive Cock Rings

When you think of expensive sex toys, you think of LELO, a company who sell Sex Toys to celebrities and the like. You know, rich people?

So it should come as no surprise to find two of the three most expensive cock rings available today are from LELO.

Oh, I should mention, they are expensive, but they are good. So like everything in life, you get what you pay for…. With one exception

This is the LELO Oden, which I believe is the most expensive ‘cock ring’ available today, at £109.99 from Lovehoney.

You might expect this to be the absolute perfect choice, if you’re rich and want the best. Not so.

Read the review, it’s problematic, and a bit like anything technological, you should probably hold on for version 2.0… or just grab the…

This is the LELO Tor.

It’s a rechargeable vibrating cock ring that features a microprocessor CPU to adapt the vibrations as you desire.

There’s 6 different vibration modes to choose from, and LELO reckon it should last you the lifespan equivalent of 10,000 disposable cock rings. Which is nice. Especially as I harped on about the environment earlier.

But with that said, are they expecting you to be handing down your cock ring as some sort of family heir loom? Can you imagine how rank it would be after 10,000 lifetimes? Blerrrghhh. Why yes, there’s your great grandads fossilized pubes :/

The Monkey Spanker Duo is the evolution of the original, highly popular Monkey Spanker.

As with these sorts of products where the company only appears to produce one item (or two in this case, the original and the ‘improved’), I can never tell if you are paying a premium because the device is good or because they need to pay for their expensive factory with just one (or two ) products.

Anyway, the Monkey Spanker is a regular feature in the adverts section of FHM and the like, so at least they aren’t keeping shy about their product.

With just one product review on the MS Duo at time of writing, it’s hard to say whether this is worth the £35.99 asking price.

Cumming Full Circle

And there we go, pretty much my ultimate guide to all things cock ring. I hope you have found this guide helpful, useful, or at the very least, mildly entertaining.

Let me know in the comments section if you have any questions, feedback, or want to share your opinion on which cock ring you think is best.

Well this certainly won’t be to everyone’s tastes. But who said a sex toy has to appeal to everyone? Certainly not the sex toy designers at Wild Fire studios.

If you are a guy that craves the curves of a chubby, plump or larger lady then this may well be the answer to all your prayers.

One big downside for me is the lack of an entry for anal. A sex toy of this quality should definitely have both options available. I appreciate that April Flores isn’t known for her anal shoots, and that she may well not be comfortable having that part of her anatomy intricately plaster casted.

But come on, this is what guys fantasise about and this is what should be catered for.

That’s not to say the pussy isn’t great. I love the folds, the layers of life-like flesh that can be held, squeezed and played with as you fuck April’s awesome cunt.

And even though this is based on April Flores, there’s nothing to stop you imagining one of your other favourtie plumptous, voluptuous beauties. I prefer Dors Feline.

Devils in the Detail

I love the detail on this chubby lovers sex toy. I love how her chubby pussy lips have that thick, fleshy feel and appearence that you see on your favourite BBW porn stars. Pushing those plump lips aisde and sliding your cock deep inside her belly is a real treat, something not every BBW or voluptuous lover will get to experience for real in his life.

Once you are inside her, your cock will experience all her ridges, ribs and bumps as her tight pussy caresses every inch of you.

You can ride this toy in missionairy, or if you’re feeling a little bit more adventerous, put one of your favourite BBW porn movies on, and ride her either reverse or full cowgirl whilst sat on your sofa. You could even take her into the bath, as CyberSkin is completely waterproof.

April Flores Chubby CyberSkin Pussy Toy Video Preview

If you want a better look at what this toy is really like, check out the video above, and see it in a way pictures and words can’t really describe.

Grab your April Flores Chubby CyberSkin Pussy Toy today at Lovehoney.

Or you can just buy a lot of cake mix and keep fattening up your current Mrs. But I don’t recommend that!

So not everyone’s wife, girlfriend or partner is quite so open minded as us kinky guys. And that leads to problems.

You want to enjoy yourself – and why shouldn’t you? – but you also don’t want your significant other finding out.

Which raises the question, where is the best place to hide my sex toys?

Well, I did a little digging around and I have come up with what I think are the 7 best places for us guys to hide our sex toy collections.

Your Office Drawers

No, not your work office – your home office.

If you have a lockable drawer in your home office, it’s the ideal place to keep a toy. Right next to your computer for when you are feeling a little frisky, and comfortably close by so you don’t have to creep around with your bulky fleshlight in your hand.

Your Car

Not just anywhere in the car though, the best place is in the spare wheel area, under the boot carpet.

You can fit a few toys in this little space, and unless your wife breaks down whilst driving your car, these bad boys are gunna be pretty safe from her prying eyes.

In Your Toolbox

Women do not go near toolboxes. Period.

Just be sure to keep your toys wrapped in a plastic bag (noisy though they may well be) as you don’t want grease and grime fucking your expensive toys up.

In The Attic

Not very practical, and just going up there when it’s too hot or too cold is a royal pain the arse. But when was the last time your Mrs clambered up those rickety old steps?

Things are safe in the attic

Your Golf Bag

No one ever suspects the golf bag. Right at the bottom, or in the big ball pocket.

The same goes for any sort of sports bag – ski’s, fishing, that sort of thing.

Just not your gym bag. That’s a recipe for disaster.

The Garage

Unless you’re a tidy and neat kinda guy, then you should be able to find a safe spot amongst all the bugs, gribblies and spiders.

The Shed

A little like the garage, but very much less likely to have a handy door that leads directly in from the house.

Still, unless your wife enjoys a bit of gardening, she is unlikely to find your sex toy stash in the shed.

You missed…

Can you think of any more? Leave a comment and let me know!

Not just any sex toy get’s me excited any more.

So many are just re-hashed old designs or uninspiring copies in shiny new packaging. There are toys that I have thought would make excellent additions to the market, but I have no knowledge of how to make them.

So when I see one of my good ideas has been made into an actual real life physical toy, I get happy. I also get ordering.

The Spider Hands Free Realistic Men’s Masturbator is something that anyone with a Fleshlight will have wished for, surely. Rather than having to slip the can between your mattress and the bed box thing, the guys behind the Spider have attached a swivelly sucker cup joint to the base of a very Fleshlight-looking canister, allowing you to stick it to any surface and get yourself an angle just like that of fucking a real pussy (or arse if your feeling imaginative / have an Fleshlight ass insert).

It’s surprising that this hasn’t been done before – it’s a problem that’s afflicted the male sex toy industry for the past God knows how many years.

Many of the promo pics provided for the Spider show the unit in use in the bathroom. There’s a good reason for this. That powerful sucker suction cup attaches best to a smooth, flat surface – and the most common place to find such a surface in the modern household is on a bathroom tile. Just be sure to give the tile a quick wipe when you’re done – the last thing you want is incriminating circles showing up all over the walls whilst your wife is having a hot steamy bath. Think SatNav style rings on your car’s windshield.

One of the things I actually don’t like about the Spider is it’s weird dumbbell shape. I know they can’t have a 100% copy / clone of the Fleshlight for copyright reasons or whatever.

That’s fine.

And I also appreciate that the Fleshlight is an absolute pain in the arse to grip because it’s so chunky – another problem resolved by the Spider. But it’s just ugly. Maybe it’s just me. Still, you’re not buying this for it’s looks are you?

You may well be wondering then, where is the suction cup?

Well, cleverly the Spider crew have hidden both the pussy opening and the sucker cup in the ends of the Dumbbell. So you unscrew the bottom and suction cup is revealed.

You can then push that end against a wall, twist the little circle suction intensifier (again, think SatNav, very similar), and your Spider is now stuck firmly to the wall. And again, just like your SatNav, this suction cup is attached to a handy hinge which allows you to rotate the Pussy end to whatever angle you desire, creating a large list of sexual-position possibilities. A feature that certainly increases this toys longevity.

At the other end of the dumbbell is the Pussy. A very Fleshlight-esque pussy in fact. However – unlike your standard Fleshlight pussy insert, this one is tighter and the inside of the pussy is different to a Fleshlight.

The pussy design on the Spider is much more realistic, full of bumps and ridges, as you would expect to find on a real lady. It’s a little weird I know, but when the Spider first arrived, I smelt the insert – as Fleshlight inserts smell like weird flour or something which is quite a turn off – but this one smelt quite nice. I still washed it thoroughly before use though, and you should wash yours too.

Hands Free Action

So does it actually work as a hands-free device?

Well… yes! Not perfectly every time, in every position, but when it does, it’s fucking amazing.

Basically just like the real deal.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you can get the Fleshlight to be a hands free device – putting it between the bed and the mattress, sticking it in a shoe, between your sofa cushions etc… but without the suction cup, the Fleshlight wriggles about mid pumping and that pissed me right off.

The suction cup sticks too a number of surfaces as I have mentioned – primarily smooth and shiny bathroom tiles (floor or wall) make the best choice. Also with the bathroom in most houses having a lock, you can pump away without risk of being spotted by probing wives – “I wonder why John suddenly started taking so many baths?”

Other surfaces are not so great – regular wall paper walls for example are pretty much a no-go, as is anything wooden. However, the regular shiny wooden office desk I have in my house actually works pretty well (not as good as a tile though!), and you can angle the Spider nicely to thrust whilst using your PC or Mac… just sayin’

A little tip here – use a spot of spit / water on the suction cup for extra purchase. Mirrors also work, if you’re feeling particularly kinky.

How Does It Really Feel?

Honestly, if you have used a Fleshlight – or a similar product – then you know what this sort of device feels like. The real difference comes from the positions in which you can use the Spider whilst enjoying yourself.

Orgasms with this thing can be intense. In some ways as good as if not better than the real thing (no need to please her!). It certainly helps if you’re really horny when you start using this toy, as it does with most, but this one will definitely get your mood, and consequently your juices flowing much more easily than many other toys.

Does It Work With Other Inserts?

Amazingly… YES! Praise the Lord.

I have used it with my two Fleshlight inserts (the Pink Butt Ultra Tight and Pink Lady Wonder Wave Fleshlight Insert) and I know the ultra-realistic range from Japanese company Utensil Race fit nicely as well, one of which I hope to grab when I can afford it.

This Looks and Sounds Awesome, What’s It Cost?

It’s £89.99.

Wait… come back! I know, I know, hardly a recession friendly toy, right? But let me explain.

At £20-30 more than a standard Fleshlight, this may well seem initially expensive, but there are so many more positional possibilities with this toy that you will be so glad you spent the extra money on this, rather than a Fleshlight.

Also, if you do own a Fleshy, then you can re-use the inserts you already own – and this fits other inserts nicely, as mentioned already. Using the standard insert, then others that you have or purchase later, only extended the life span of this sex toy.

I know it’s not cheap, but honestly, my Fleshlight hasn’t seen the light of day since I received this.

It’s not going to be for everyone, that’s for sure. But if you are in the market for a really high quality toy that you will get a lot of use from, then this is perfect.

Look at it another way – if you spend £60 on a Fleshlight, then buy this a few months later when you begin to regret not buying this initially, this toy is gunna have cost you almost twice as much. And you can buy the Fleshlight inserts separately, so if it’s just a specific pussy or ass you’re after, then consider going that route.

Do I Need To Use Lube With The Spider?

Absolutely! Wow, I’m wincing in pain at the very thought of not doing.

Good news – there is a free sachet of lube included, but I do recommend you grab yourself a bottle of lube if you don’t have any, as the sachet won’t last long – maybe 2-3 wanks tops, if you conserve it.

A little tip here, either add the lube when you are ordering this toy, so they both come together, or head on over here: Camden NHS Condom Shop – and help out the NHS by ordering from them. It’s not as cheap as it used to be but it’s a good cause.

What Positions Can I Do With The Spider?

There are quite a few:

• Doggy
• Spoons
• Wheelbarrow
• Missionary
• Tea Spoons
• Pump
• Screw
• Turtle
• Prison Doggy
• Arch
• Brute
• Standing

And you can always think up more

Can I See The Spider In Action On Video?

You can certainly see a cool video preview of the toy over at LoveHoney, who are the UK exclusive distributor of the Spider.

Click on this link, then scroll down a little bit for the video. Sorry, I can’t insert it here, they don’t allow me to embed their vids :/

Would You Recommend This Product To Me?

I cannot rate this toy highly enough.

I genuinely think this is a great product.

Please do let me know if you have one, and how you are finding it.

I guess most people have heard of the Fleshlight. It’s the toy that really triggered a lot of men’s interest in modern sex toys.

For the uninitiated, the fleshlight is a realistic (or not so, depending on your taste) pussy that comes in a flash light / torch style case. Of course, a torch the size of a fleshlight could probably burn a considerable hole in the moon. It’s not going to fool too many people as to its purpose for too long.

When you unscrew the lid, you are greeted with a soft, smooth fuckable pussy, arse hole or willing mouth depending on your insert. The inserts are interchangeable / removable for cleaning.

Since the early days, advancements have kept coming and of course, a number of pornstars have released their own pussy castings in a can.

And so, if you have ever wanted to fuck Lia 19 – and let’s face it, that is just about anyone who has ever seen her and her gorgeous body – then your wish can finally come true.

This is a real moulding of her actual vagina, and I reckon it looks fucking sexy. Just like the real deal.

The joys don’t end on the outside either. Once you slide inside, you are welcomed by Fleshlight’s most realistic pussy experience yet – The Lotus.

Featuring a smooth, ultra tight entry that quickly blossums into a more comfortable canal. Further inside are four pleasure chambers for maximum penetration enjoyment.

Fantastic. Get yours here!

Have you ever fantasised about fucking a guys tight shaven ring piece as his thick 7 inch cock sways in front of you, jerking with each thrust?

Perhaps you want to fuck a guys arse and play with his cock, but you don’t actually want to do it with another guy? Maybe you’re not quite ready for that yet, but you don’t want to miss out on the fun.

Run your tongue all over his shaven pubic mound, down, around his balls then between his cheeks, teasing his willing anus. Slide your tongue all the way up, engulfing the thick tip of his penis, swallowing as much of his length as your hungry mouth can accommodate.

Then when you are ready, slide your own meat into his tight box, fucking with deep thrusts into his tight, penetrable arse hole.

If you are feeling even more adventurous, you can use that cock for further exploration!

One not to be missed for the curious and horny alike.

Check it out at Love Honey

I recently picked up a new porn DVD – Women Seeking Women 72, for anyone interested – that has one of the hottest Ebony pornstars I have ever seen.

Her name is Jada Fire and my God is she curvy in all the right places.

Well that’s exactly who I picture when I see this hot looking CyberSkin Realistic Vibrating Perfect Ass.

Just watch the preview video and see for yourself, it’s plump, curvy and oh so jiggly. Just like Jada.

Now, chances are I am never going to get to put my prick inside her pussy. For many reasons.

1. I’m a married man
2. She lives in America
3. She’s a pornstar, and fucking pornstars doesn’t happen in real life. At least not to me.

So I have to fantasize. Or at least I used to have to fantasize. Now I can fuck a realistic life like reinterpretation of her sweet black ass.

Imagine just fucking her sweet pussy, slapping those perfect cheeks and then pulling out, only to ram straight into her tight brown arse hole.

Delicious.