(Hint: Click on the statistics screenshots to see them much bigger, but, judging from what’s about to come, I didn’t need to tell you this.)

This site has been online a good amount of time now, and like the good little Internet geek I am, I have been keeping a keen eye on metrics and evaluators.

Of course, most of it is absolute gobbledygook if I am honest.

• Pages/Visit Vs Bounce Rate % anyone?

No?

How about:

• Abv Visit Duration Vs Per Visit Value?

Say what?

Thankfully, there are good, old fashion gems in there too.

Ones for the rest of us. The non-ubernerd stat appreciator.

So let’s take at a few of the stats from this site, from the month of April 2012, and see where it takes us.

Bernardo

Sorry, that subheading has literally no relevant meaning to the rest of this section, but ubernerd when hit by the spell checker throws up the word Bernardo as a possible interpretation of what I’m talking about.

Or not, as the case may be.

Show Me Your Vitals

Yeah, so I thought it would be pretty cool to be entirely transparent about who comes here, how often, and from where.

It’s harmless enough to me, and if nothing else, it proves its not just me and you.

Alone.

Forever.

Wait, no, come back, please.

Firefox an’ Chrome, Representin’

So the big news for me was that Internet Explorer wasn’t the most commonly used browser, when visiting this site.

Why is that important?

Well, it says that the vast majority of you know that changing your browser is not only worth doing, but also, possible.

This highlights that the you are probably not scared of computers, or put off by technology.

Heck, I’d wager you even have your own Facebook account.

Men’s Sex Toys on the Go

Whilst it’s not surprising that us men are a busy bunch, what is surprising is just how many of us are browsing the web on our smart phones.

And by smart phone, of course I mean our iPhones.

Or, if your in the house, it’s big brother, the iPad.

I just wonder how many of us are getting our porn this way? Could it be a similar percentage?

Interesting times ahead, for sure.

iMasturbate over Windows 8

That’s a pretty shit subheading, and I’m disappointed with myself for going with it.

But before we nerdgasm over which OS we are all using, I would just like to say a warm welcome to our Playstation 3 using brothers, and point out that they managed to match the number of Blackberry visitors. No surprise to find out their share price is tanking.

Anyway, to the stats…

It seems the majority are still largely with Windows.

For now.

Come in, Come in, Everyone’s new here

A little disappointingly for me, it would seem the majority of you never return.

*sad face*

But those of you that do, I hope you are getting something from my reviews.

And a hugely sincere thank you to each and everyone of you.

Me no speaky de English

I’m genuinely not sure if that’s racist or not.

It’s not meant that way.

Anyway, I’m sticking with it.

Thankfully the two biggest languages reading this site by a long, long way are English.

American English admittedly is the bigger of the two.

But as you will see on the country stats in a minute, this most likely proves that we are all too lazy to change our computers from US keyboard mode.

Keyboards Schmee-boards, show me by country

Yeah, ok, that would have been simpler…

Interesting? Insightful? Boulder dash?

I’m genuinely intrigued as to your feelings and feedback on this post.

For me, I find it interesting. I hope you do too.

Either way, leave me a comment and let me know.

If you know what a Fleshlight is, and just want to buy one – click here!

If you don’t, and you want to find out more, then keep reading…

I find it really hard to review the Fleshlight.

On one hand, it’s a really easy thing to recommend to pretty much any lad, of any age, and of any sexual orientation. After all, we all the feeling of putting our cock in something soft, sensual, and sexy.

But on the other hand, it’s hard to recommend the Fleshlight exclusively when the Spider, or the awesome, super life-like pussy replicas from Race Utensil may actually be the perfect toy for you.

So in this review, I am going to cover all the best bits of the Fleshlight range (of which there are many), and also tell you why you could benefit from going with one of the others from the Big Three.

Maybe you could even combine them to make a sexual tri-force of the ultimate male sex toys.

Anyway, what better way to get introduced to the Fleshlight range than with a whistle stop tour of what a Fleshlight actually is, and why and where did it come from.

Let’s get started. So…

What is a Fleshlight?

You may know all this already – you may even already own a Fleshlight – and if you do, feel free to skip ahead to the next section.

Still reading?

Excellent.

Welcome to Fleshlight 101, as our American cousins would say. And indeed, it’s fitting as the family-owned business behind Fleshlight is straight outta the good, old US of A.

Careful, here comes the science bit: The Fleshlight is a men’s penetrative masturbation aid consisting of two parts:

1. A sturdy plastic outer casing – ‘disguised’ as a torch, or Flashlight in Americanese, and…
2. The interchangeable inner insert, of which there are many, but ultimately are designed to model – with varying degrees of accuracy and pleasure – the vagina, arse, and mouth.

Where you would normally find a lens cap at the top of a torch, on the Fleshlight you will find a screw cap which, when unscrewed, reveals your chosen opening, be it pussy, arse, or mouth.

Cut away of the Fleshlight Pink Wonder Wave insert

The removable insert (or sleeve), has been designed to perfectly fit the hard plastic outer casing.

The flexible, realistically fleshy insert is completely removable which means it’s nice and easy to clean. The easiest way is to simply stretch the insert entrance or exit slightly to allow running tap water to pass through, keeping it fresh and hygienic after use.

And at the bottom, where you might normally insert the batteries to power your flashlight, you will find the semen capturing container. Or cum capsule. Or spunk bucket. It all depends on how far your mind has sunk into the gutter.

Although somewhat basic – and difficult to change whilst in use – you can adjust the tightness of that bottom screw cap to increase or decrease the amount of suction you encounter when thrusting in and out of your Fleshlight.

I will explain more about this a little later.

And now that you know what a Fleshlight is, you might find it interesting to know a little bit more about how and why it came about. So let’s take a look at…

A history of Fleshlight

Fleshlight CEO Brian Shubin, Steve's son

The Fleshlight was invented in the mind of Steve Shubin, a former Los Angeles country police officer.

Something’s got to keep a man’s mind occupied whilst the criminals are in hiding, right?

Knowing that an ex-cop created the Fleshlight goes a long way towards explaining why the outer casing looks so much like a torch / flashlight. He was no doubt so used to carrying one every day as he patrolled his beat that the basic shape was pre-etched in his mind.

Having recently discovered his wife was pregnant, Shubin – like so many other men experiencing the same – was looking at a 9 month stint without much sex (if any!).

They say necessity is the mother of all invention, and not wanting to abstain or visit a lady of the night, Shubin began pondering the creation of a life like vagina substitute that could be discreetly used, covertly cleaned, and then stored for future use without attracting unwanted attention.

Now, the US must pay their police force substantially more money than a similar police constable in the UK, as Shubin was expecting his new idea to set him back approximately 6 months to design and bring to market, and around $50,000 of his money, which he would pay out of his own life savings.

He managed to under estimate on both counts.

The Fleshlight took 18 months to bring to market, and cost a whopping $750,000 in investment to get there.

Thankfully – for both Shubin and the rest of the World’s male population – with over 4 million sold and counting (yes the image below above is out of date already), it turned out to be money well spent.

Well, that just about wraps up my mini history on Fleshlight, but if you want to continue reading, then there is a fair amount more to read on their official forums, and features an interview with Shubin himself.

If this has intrigued you, then you may well now be asking yourself, well…

Why should I buy a Fleshlight?

Back when I first started out buying men’s sex toys online, there really wasn’t a great deal of choice in the matter.

If you wanted a high-quality hands-free masturbation sleeve you either bought a standalone floppy insert that you had to hold with your hands, or you bought a Fleshlight.

Fleshlight were basically the pioneers of this whole insert-in-a-case concept.

Now, at around £65, not only was this expensive but as it was my first toy it was also quite the gamble.

I was by now means the first person to have bought a Fleshlight though – far from it. There were enough people before me to have bought, tried, and subsequently enjoyed their Fleshlights that a good number had left a positive and helpful review of their experiences, over at Lovehoney.

Still, there wasn’t a massive selection to choose from – Mouth, Pussy, or Arse entrances and a small selection of inserts that got progressively tighter. They still those inserts today but they are starting to show their age.

I like to read real reviews from real people (that’s the main reason why I ultimately started this site), so having that social proof really helped convince me that others were buying and enjoying these toys, and I wasn’t their £65 guinea pig.

Thankfully, and as this site attests to, it was money well spent and I have been recommending them to everyone interested ever since.

But if your question is why you should buy a Fleshlight over the new challenger to the throne, the Spider, or an insert from Japanese uber-detailed insert makers Race Utensil, then it gets a touch trickier.

In my eyes Fleshlight still dominate this marketplace.

They got here first, and by providing a high-end, high-quality product, they have rightly established themselves as the number one brand in the minds of men like you and me.

Since then they have continuously refined, improved, and expanded their range to include replicating the mouths, pussies, and arse holes of a number of very high-profile porn stars, all whilst ramping up the detail and sensations you experience once you slide inside your new Fleshlight girl.

I would say for the majority of men that the Fleshlight should still be your number one sex toy purchase.

The only time I would recommend otherwise would be if you really want the additional functionality provided by the suction cup on the Spider.

And once you’ve tried either the Fleshlight or a Spider, then it’s time to begin experimenting with the super realistic inserts from Race Utensil – and yes you can swap and change your inserts whilst still using the outer casing of your Fleshlight or Spider.

One of the most commonly searched terms on Google that brings visitors here is…

Are Fleshlight’s Virgin Friendly?

Yes. Absolutely.

There’s no pressure when you’re using a toy. You can take your time, experiment, and see what works best for you.

And you can rinse and repeat – quite literally – until you are a dab hand, and subconsciously, you will feel more prepared.

Using your Fleshlight will give you confidence for when your first time comes.

Remember, you can keep using your Fleshlight to improve your technique and, given enough time and practice, increase your sexual stamina and even last longer before cumming.

Think of it as the next level of masturbation. Just remember to run your insert under the warm tap before using, to simulate the real feeling of sex even further.

What would my Mrs think if she found my Fleshlight? Are Fleshlight’s easy to hide?

It’s hard for me to answer the first question as I don’t know your missus!

But, if I were you, the answer I would be that it’s no different to her having a dildo or a vibrator.

And wouldn’t she rather I enjoyed my Fleshlight whilst thinking of her, than playing away, or even paying for sex?

Fleshlight’s are simply a convenient alternative method for having sex when your partner is not around, or not in the mood.

Yes, Fleshlight’s are easy enough to hide. Their torch shaped outer casing gives some element of stealth from the untrained eye, and their relatively small dimensions make finding a hiding place not all that difficult.

What are the dimensions of Fleshlight sex toys?

A Fleshlight in its case is about 10 inches from top to bottom, or 26cm if you prefer.

Around the widest section (the entry), you’re looking at a 12inch diameter, or 30cm.

That drops down to around 7.5inch or 20cm at the bottom.

Now, if you are anything like me, that information is somewhat helpful, but what you really want is some real world examples.

Ok, so let’s say the widest bit is about as wide as a new toilet roll. And the Fleshlight itself is 2 ½ toilet rolls stacked on top of each other.

Incidentally, I would advise keeping a toilet roll handy when using your Fleshlight, to clean up any spills!

Another way of looking at it, is your Fleshlight is about as long as a standard shatter-proof ruler that you used to use at school. The full size ones good for making that funny sound when your prang them off a desk.

And yet another is that is as long as a cucumber you see in a super market.

I hope my real world comparisons are helpful to you!

Help! I’m a first time buyer, which Fleshlight should I order?

The very best advice I can give you as a first time buyer would be to choose the Fleshlight that turns you on.

I wouldn’t advise going for a really tight insert if this is your first time, based on my own experience.

If you’re the kind of person who likes to know many others have tried and tested what you are about to purchase, and you like to read nonbiased (hey, I’m non-biased!) reviews, the check out the Pink Lady Fleshlight – which with 110 Lovehoney  customer reviews at the time of writing, is your safest bet.

Lovehoney even do video reviews of their more popular products, so be sure you click below and watch that.

Though I would also definitely recommend the Fleshlight Girls range, especially if you have a soft spot for one of the choice of pornstar girls.

Just FYI, the Fleshlight Girls range have the most detailed, nicest inserts I have tried.

Also worth noting is that at present, you can only buy the Fleshlight Girls range complete with their outer casing, though you can buy the ‘older’ inserts as a standalone.

Which sleeve is right for me?

I would advise getting one of the Fleshlight Girls if you need to buy a complete Fleshlight – simply because they are the most detailed and best feeling Fleshlights currently on the market.

However, if you own a Spider or a Fleshlight and are looking for a new insert only – my advice would be to check out the range from Race Utensil, as they fit the Fleshlight / Spider casing, but are – in my opinion – much better inserts in terms of sensation and realism.

Which sleeve best simulates real sex?

The Race Utensil range, straight out of the high tech laboratories of Japan, are currently strides ahead of Fleshlight and Spider in terms of producing a realistic vaginal replica insert.

However, Fleshlight and Spider – from what I can see – aren’t even trying to produce inserts that compete in terms of realism. They are all about sensations and maximum enjoyment designed solely to satisfy your wants and needs, with no requirement to satisfy those of Mother Nature.

These are some cut-away / side on shots of the inserts from Race Utensil, just to give you an idea of their detail.

So really it’s one horse race if you wish for ultra realism.

If you are looking for realism, then make sure you check out Race Utensil.

Remember – you can fit your Race Utensil insert into a Fleshlight / Spider casing to get the absolute best of both worlds.

What type of Lube should I use with my Fleshlight?

Fleshlight themselves recommend a water based lubricant. And they also supply a small sample pack of their lube when you buy a ‘Complete Fleshlight’.

That’s nice and all, but the sample pack will last you two goes at most. And you can’t use your Fleshlight without lube. Unless you want a friction burns in the wrongest of places.

So the lube I heartily recommend is the ID Glide.

It’s good for sex as well as Fleshlight use – and if you buy a decent sized bottle it will last you for ages. It’s false economy to buy small bottles of lube honestly, as primarily you are paying for the packaging, so you might as well just go big and ultimately save more money.

What is the difference between the Fleshlight products?

Have you ever seen the “Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares”?

You know, that show where Gordon Ramsay stomps around the kitchen of someone else’s restaurant pointing out everything they are doing wrong. Which is usually quite a lot of things. And involves a whole slew of F words.

Well one thing that Gordon often picks up on is that many restaurants try to do too much with their menu.

And if you’ve seen the amount of different inserts that Fleshlight offer today, you may be worrying that they have gone the quantity over quality.

Let me assure you that this is not the case.

Yes, Fleshlight do have a very wide range of inserts available. But they are not all unique. Rather, they combine various parts to give their range much greater width.

Let me explain.

Say we have the Fleshlight Wonder Wave insert.

On to this, you could have a mouth, pussy, or arse opening.

This gives 3 potential inserts combinations.

Let’s swap out the Wonder Wave for the Super Ribbed, and now you have another three combinations – giving six combinations in total, yet with only two different internals.

That’s how their range has grown so quickly. Especially when you factor in alternative skin tones – ebony, and see-through ‘ice’.

The Fleshlight Girls range are an extension of this process. The openings are all new, using plaster moulds to get a life like casting of your favourite porn stars mouth, pussy, and ass hole.

Then, once you’re inside, the inserts are all new too. But it doesn’t matter which Fleshlight Girl (or guy for that matter) you go for, you are still picking and choosing from a relatively small, yet high-quality selection, to give their very wide range of combinations.

Just to clarify in case I haven’t been clear enough, if you buy the Jenna Haze Fleshlight Girl Swallow (mouth entry) Fleshlight, or the Stoya Fleshlight Girl Swallow Fleshlight, aside from the opening – or moulding of their mouths – the insert itself will still be the same once you slide inside.

Ultimately it all comes down to which one of the insert catches your eye, and which one gives you that twitch in your pants telling you – that’s the one for me!

Can I change inserts without buying another complete Fleshlight?

Yes, you no longer need to buy a complete Fleshlight any more, as the inserts and cases now sell separately.

It’s still cheaper to buy a complete Fleshlight if this is your first time. But for those of us who own a Fleshlight or Spider already, we can just purchase the insert if we now wish.

That said, keeping your insert stored safely and securely inside a case has its advantages – keeping it clean and out of the way from prying eyes being just two of them.

And don’t forget you can use from other manufacturers – Race Utensil and Spider – in your Fleshlight case.

Tip: Fleshlight Girls have to be bought as a complete Fleshlight, you can’t buy the inserts separately. 

Which inserts have you tried, and which was best?

With my job been to run a website about male sex toys I have been fortunate enough to own and review a relatively large number of the inserts available from the Fleshlight range.

But of course I am not made of money. Nor do I have a hotline to Fleshlight HQ allowing me to try any combination of insert that I choose.

So I must stress that my experience is based simply on the inserts that I have tried. This includes:

• Pink Lady Wonderwave
• Pink Butt Super Tight
• Ice Mouth Vortex
• Fleshlight Girls – Jenna Haze Butt
• Fleshlight Girls – Jenna Haze Swallow

I would be lying if I said every single one of those hasn’t felt absolutely fantastic.

I’ve mentioned elsewhere in this write-up that if anything the Super Tight was perhaps a little bit on the too tight side for me. I wouldn’t say it’s uncomfortable, but it certainly not my everyday, go-to Fleshlight insert of choice.

As the technology and materials used has increased over the past few years, the quality of the inserts has climbed up to match.

If you haven’t bought a Fleshlight in the past few years but own one of the earlier models, let me tell you that on the newer inserts – specifically the Fleshlight Girls – that the feelings and sensations have gotten even better.

What if I don’t like it, can I get a refund?

Think about this for a second. Would you want to buy a Fleshlight if there was a chance that someone else had used it before you?

No. Of course not.

As with any sex toy, men’s or women’s, if you have used it or removed it from the box then you cannot get a refund.

However, I would be surprised if after using your Fleshlight, that getting a refund even crossed your mind.

Yes, they are quite expensive, but honestly they are so worth it!

When Should I Buy a Fleshlight?

This is a bit of a strange question, but it’s one that I feel should be addressed.

You see, at the point where you wish you had bought a Fleshlight – i.e. when you’re horny as hell – you get yourself into this circular argument, where you’re too horny to be bothered fiddling about finding your credit card and going through the online checkout procedure, but you also kid yourself into thinking you will have your Fleshlight for next time.

So you now need to make sure that you bought your Fleshlight in advance.

This then puts you in that perfect position of not only enjoying yourself in the here and now, but also gives you something to look forward to for when it arrives.

Believe me, the anticipation of the arrival of your Fleshlight, especially if it is your first male sex toy, will mean the first time you use it will give you an orgasm you remember the rest of your life. At least that’s how I felt.

As with anything you buy online, a little bit of forward planning can go a long way.

Think of it like this: you’re happily enjoying the first series of the excellent TV show 24. You get to hour (or episode) 16. At this point, you really need to order series two, so that when you do reach episode number 24, you can continue watching the new series the very next day.

This will allow eight more days of viewing pleasure, whilst giving Amazon plenty of time to pick and pack your order, dispatch it, and give Royal Mail chance to deliver it.

Okay, that analogy is a little tenuous, as you could technically just get in the car and drive to your local Tesco’s and pick up series two from the DVD section.

But as we both know, Fleshlights and other male sex toys haven’t yet become mainstream enough to occupy an isle in your local supermarket.

And would you even know the location of a local sex shop that sold the exact Fleshlight model that you wanted? And assuming you do, would you even be willing to risk the embarrassment of being seen going in to get it?

And that’s why shopping for mens sex toys online is so much better for the modern man.

My thoughts on the Fleshlight casing

The torch casing was (is?) designed to throw people off the scent as to exactly what might be inside.

The fact is however, that the casing is pretty bulky and a torch that fit in a case that size would be strong enough to blind a small town.

Disregarding the fact that it is supposed to look like a torch for one second, and just taking the concept of a rigid, sturdy case to house the soft, fleshy insert, allows you to see why Fleshlight took our market by storm.

Why no one had thought to give their sleeves a solid outer casing before baffles me.

It’s all very well having something you can slip your cock inside of, but if you have to hold the sleeve with one hand, it really restricts the positional possibilities available to you.

For example, without a hard outer case, if you were to slip the insert between your bed frame and the mattress, you would end up with an experience that was not only far too tight to be enjoyable, but also completely unrealistic.

With a Fleshlight however, the sturdy plastic case can be pushed between two such semi solid surfaces, allowing you to come up with new positions and even going completely hands-free. Not only does this give you a much more realistic experience, but you experience the insert as it was meant to be felt.

Aside from the Spider, which has pretty much all the advantages of a Fleshlight case but with the added bonus of the handy suction cup to stick on the walls and floors, no other men’s sex toy can compete with the solid, well-made professional feel of the Fleshlight.

And as an added bonus, you can reuse your Fleshlight case to house inserts from Race Utensil.

I own an original Fleshlight, whose pussy is the mould taken from?

If you own one of the original, early models – before the advent of the Fleshlight girls range – then you have been fucking a lapdancer from Los Angeles all these years.

She got paid somewhere in the region of $100 per hour to have a mould taken of her pussy, and had to be shaved bare as part of the process – not that hairy muffs were all the rage back in the 90s.

Frightening to think that this unnamed stripper should have her own entry(*) in the Guiness Book of Records for the worlds most fucked pussy (replica).

Not quite the family friendly record though that, more the sort of thing you might find on a late night repeat of Sexcetera.

* - no pun intended

How do Fleshlight inserts compare to those made by Race Utensil, or the Spider?

This is a really good question and one that few people are in a position to answer, simply because few people have tried all three manufacturers’ inserts.

Now I must qualify that previous statement by saying I haven’t tried every possible insert from those three manufacturers (sadly), but I have tried at least one from each.

Being that I am simply one man, I can only give you my personal opinions. But if I were forced to rank them, they would come out as follows:

1. Race Utensil
2. Fleshlight
3. Spider

The reality of it is that there is very little between the inserts from Fleshlight and the Spider. Fleshlight have the edge in that they have a wider range of inserts, making it much easier to find one that exactly fits your requirements.

The Spider, at present, only has one insert and whilst it is comparable in build quality to those from Fleshlight, the inner detail just isn’t as good.

For me, personally, I just really enjoy both the textures and the sensations provided by the inserts from Race Utensil.

So to summarise this short section I would say that all three companies have excellent quality inserts if we are talking about the manufacturing, materials, or overall quality. But if there is a specific look, feel, or in detail you are going for, then you can buy with confidence from any of these three manufacturers as they are all making superb replica pussies for you to enjoy.

It simply comes down to the exact need you really need to fulfill.

How tight are Fleshlights?

This depends on which insert you have chosen.

Certain inserts – specifically the Super Tight and the Ultra Tight – are designed, as you can no doubt deduce from their names, to be as tight around your cock as possible.

Personally, I find the Super Tight to be almost uncomfortably tight, requiring a hearty dollop of lube just to get inside, and almost certainly a top up halfway through to keep you going. Based on this I didn’t even try the Ultra Tight!

For an average sized UK male, the ‘standard’ Fleshlight insert sizes will do the job nicely without the risk of spending all that money on something that is going to feel too tight to enjoy.

A good tip here is to try one of the standard inserts if this is your first time, and consider buying a tighter insert in the future.

As I mentioned at the start, the Fleshlight case has the top ‘bulb’ cover as well as the bottom ‘battery’ cover. The main reason the bottom cover is their is to catch your cum when you come.

However, it also has a second use.

By tightening and un-tightening the bottom ring, you can create different levels of suction for your thrusting. And whilst the effect isn’t huge, it does give an element of allowing you to fine tune the overall sensation and tightness of your experience.

I prefer fucking Robots, Vampires, and Aliens. Is there a Fleshlight for that?

Yes!

I always wondered who they were aimed at.

The full range of strange includes:

• Sex in a Can Vampire Succu Dry
• Blue Alien (box office smash movie ‘Avatar’ themed)
• Zombie
• Frankenstein’s Frankenvag
• Dracula’s pussy
• Artificial intercourse with the Cyborg vagina

So, all this is well and good, but wouldn’t you like to see a nice summary of all that’s been said so far?

Of course you would, so lets look at the…

Pros and Cons of a Fleshlight

Pros

• As close to Sex-On-Demand as most men will ever get
• Good value compared to it’s competitors
• A solid, reliable company that has been around years and truly perfected their product range
• A very satisfying end user experience
• Long lasting / well built
• Can buy separate inserts to extend your enjoyment
• Can fit inserts from other manufacturers
• Your chance to fuck your favourite pornstar!

Cons

• Inserts not the most realistic
• Case is quite bulky and can be tricky to hide
• Not got the full range of pornstars – no Lexi Belle, boo!
• No suction cup – see the Spider if you need that
• Need an empty house to fully enjoy yourself when using it

How much do Fleshlight’s cost?

The Fleshlight range has an RRP of £75, though it’s very unlikely you would ever have to pay that much.

Disregarding their recommended retail price (which no one is ever going to pay), what should you expect to pay for your new Fleshlight?

Insert only – £35 to £45

Complete Fleshlight – £30 to £69.99

Fleshlight Girls / Fleshjack Boys – £60 – £69.99

For reference and comparison purposes, a Spider hands free masturbator comes in at £89.99, and Race Utensil inserts start at £64.99.

Fleshlight sell comparatively cheaper simply because they are a huge company in terms of market share, and can reduce their production costs by making large quantities, which in turn means they can make their products available to us cheaper.

What is the Fleshlight Flight?

The Fleshlight Flight is the all new compact Fleshlight, so called because it fits nicely into your luggage to take with you on business trips.

Note – the Fleshlight Flight does not accept existing Fleshlight inserts.

I haven’t got my hands on one of these yet, but I will do shortly so expect a review in the not too distant future.

For now, check out the Fleshlight Flight at Lovehoney, the UK’s only stockist that I can find. No bad thing, Lovehoney are awesome.

Where can I buy Fleshlight’s cheapest, and do you know when they are going to come down in price?

I have never known Fleshlight’s to dramatically shift in price.

The original inserts and Fleshlight range are still selling today for a very similar price to those at which they sold five years ago – about £65 for a complete Fleshlight.

So if anything, they are technically getting more expensive, when you adjust for inflation.

I have bought direct from Fleshlight, but usually buy from Lovehoney, as they have free discreet delivery.

However, it’s hard to find coupons or discounts for Fleshlights. I guess they don’t need to discount them as they sell so well.

I have no indication that Fleshlight’s will be coming down in price in the future. The release of the Fleshlight Girl’s range saw slightly more expensive models being introduced, but the older models did not drop in price much as a result.

So really, there is no gain to be had from delaying your purchase at this current time.

Where to buy?

• Lovehoney have a wide range of Fleshlights with good, honest customer reviews and preview videos & free discreet delivery
• Fleshlight EU have pretty much everything Fleshlight related in stock, but shipping is expensive
• SexToys.co.uk are another good choice for UK shoppers
• Honeylicious have a smaller range in stock

Once you have owned a male sex toy for a while and you have got over the initial thrill of just owning a men’s sex toys, you will most likely want to expand your horizons, experience new sensations, or maybe just expand your collection.

This puts you in a funny position where you have to choose whether you’re next toy’s orifice will be:

• her mouth
• her pussy
• her arse

It’s quite a nice decision to have to make.

I have no solid figures to back this up – other than the trends I see from visitors to this men’s sex toys review blog, which generally tells me that men go for pussy or arse based toys.

Ooh, I should just clarify that, I mean the most common toys that men buy after reading this blog are those which have a pussy or arse shaped entry, not toys for the pussy or arse

Anyway, I’m straying somewhat from my original purpose.

I want to show you there are some great alternatives to the ‘traditional’ pussy / arse entry.

I think most lads would like to increase their blowjob frequency quota, no matter how often you get the pleasures of oral sex. We are a greedy bunch who are just never satisified.

And the sex toy designers and manufacturers are all too aware of our never expiring need for more sucking. Which has led to a wide range of blowjob sex toys for us to enjoy.

So, today we will be looking at the best blowjob sex toys in 2012.

First up is the ubiquitous…

Fleshlight (Jenna Haze Swallow)

It’s a very close race between the Fleshlight and the Spider for the most popular sex toy amongst readers of this blog.

But as the Fleshlight has been around much longer, has an absolute ton of different inserts available, and was the toy that got me started personally, it would be rude not to include this in pole position.

Way back when I first bought my original Fleshlight (generic ass entry), the technology was kind of crude but it did a good job and you could definitely see a lot of potential.

Here we are, maybe five or six years later and as the range has expanded, the technology involved in making the soft skin-like rubber inserts has come along leaps and bounds.

If you’ve never used, held, or experienced a Fleshlight before, let me very quickly introduce you to it.

The idea – like many great ideas – is very simple in its origins, yet elegant in its execution.

The concept is that you have a pussy, ass, or more relevant to this article, mouth, held inside a discreet(*) looking tube very loosely modelled on the look and feel of a typical torch – or if you are American, a Flashlight.

Hence the name.

I put the asterix next to the word discreet because truthfully it wouldn’t take too long for someone to figure out exactly what it is. Especially if they had any experience whatsoever with sex toys themselves.

It’s definitely more discreet than a dildo though!

The hard plastic casing also has a dual purpose of being sturdy enough to grip hold of as you thrust in an out of your toy, and also perfect for pushing into tight crevices – such as between your mattress and the bed – for a good pumping session.

I can no longer simply say just buy a Fleshlight, and that be enough information to send you on your way.

You see the range now includes everything from the traditional pussy, arse, and mouth openings, in both white, ebony, and ‘ice’ skin tones, along with stealth, zombie, Dracula, Frankenstein, and cyborg entries, amongst the more unique of which I have seen.

It doesn’t end there. Once you slip inside your choice of opening, there is yet another range of textures, ridges, bumps, and sensations to experience.

Truly, there is something here for just about everyone. The key is to pick the one which you think you will enjoy the most. In fact, that’s where the fun begins.

Today however, I want to focus on the Fleshlight Girls.

This is yet another extension to the product range, this time allowing you to indulge in your fantasy of being sucked off by your favourite porn star.

And yes, this could be your favourite female or male porn star.

There is a decent range of available porn stars, from MILF’s such as Lisa Ann and Tera Patrick, ebony pornstar Misty Stone, Asian pornstar’s Asa Akira and Katsuni, through to your more ‘typical’ porn stars including Stoya, Jesse Jane, and my favourite, Jenna Haze.

If you prefer men, there is the equivalent range of the Fleshlight Girls, known as the Fleshjack Boys.

This range includes:

• Brent Everett
• Pierre Fitch
• Brent Corrigan
• the Visconti Triplets

… amongst others!

I don’t have first-hand experience with the Fleshjack Boys range.

But what I can tell you is that all but the exclusive/signature textures are identical to those used in the Fleshlight Girls range.

It’s worth pointing out here that with very few exceptions, it doesn’t matter which girl or guy you go for, once you are inside the inserts, they are all the same. That is to say Lisa Ann’s mouth insert is exactly the same inside as Jenna Haze’s insert, and the butt inserts are a different insert but the same across the range, as are the vagina inserts.

I hope that made sense!

I have really strayed from my original purpose of simply looking at the mouth inserts.

So let’s get right back on topic.

My model of choice was dictated by my love for all things Jenna Haze. I mentioned in my big roundup of the 11 best hands-free male masturbators in 2011 that the differences between my original Fleshlight insert and that of Jenna Haze’s Fleshlight Girls inserts was like night and day.

Well, let me tell you, I enjoyed the Jenna Haze Fleshlight arse insert so much that within two weeks of receiving it, I had placed an order for the mouth insert. That’s what inspired me to do this roundup!

Fleshlight gave the name ‘Swallow’ to the inner texture of the mouth insert for the Fleshlight Girls and Flashjack Boys range.

And that’s exactly what it feels like.

It’s not identical to getting a blow job, but it’s a darn fine and enjoyable substitute. Once you slide inside, there are little nubs that I assume are supposed to feel somewhat like teeth – but in a good way, haha.

Following this is a set of ridges and bumps that feel like her tongue and the roof of her mouth. Definitely enjoyable, especially if you’re watching Jenna Haze (or any other) blow job scene whilst you’re at it.

Past the bumps, the ‘throat’ gets much tighter, for which one can only assume is the Fleshlight R&D department’s take on deep throat.

Because you’re in control, you can vary the sensation exactly to your liking. You can go with the traditional up-and-down pumping method, or opt for a gentle twisting motion giving a completely different sensation.

Just remember to use plenty of lube – which your Fleshlight comes with handily, in case you forgot to order any when you purchased it. A quick heads up though, it’s really only a sample size lube sachet that you receive, so make sure your plenty stocked up, or add some to your order when purchasing.

Rough Guide Price:

£50-£70, Fleshlight Girls / Fleshjack Boys range closer to £65

In Summary

The market leader for a lot of good reasons.

The inserts have come along leaps and bounds in the last few years, and if you particularly like a certain pornstar, the Fleshlight Girls range can really bring your fantasy to life.

Also worth checking is the Spider – which accepts Fleshlight, and Race Utensil inserts too!

Read More Reviews

• Jenna Haze Butt Review @ SexToys4Men 11 Best Hands Free Male Masturbators in 2011 Roundup (half way down the page)
• Tons of reviews @ Lovehoney – check out each different Fleshlight for more reviews, they have lots of reviews spread across all their different Fleshlights
• A good few reviews @ Sextoys.co.uk – again, spread out over the different Fleshlights
• Plenty of customer reviews @ Official Fleshlight Forums

Video Previews

• Fleshlight preview videos at Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk
• Official Videos @ Fleshlight’s corporate website (click your girl of choice to see the video)
• Various videos @ Youtube

Where to Buy?

• Lovehoney
• SexToys
• Honeylicious

TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat Onacup

Next up is the TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat Onacup, a blow job toy that is remarkable in more ways than one.

Firstly, the price is simply unbeatable.

With a bit of shopping about (check out the links below for a list of reputable, low-cost online retailers) this can be had for under a tenner.

Yes, a men’s blowjob sex toy for under a tenner.

Secondly, in my opinion, this feels even better – well, more realistic at any rate – than a Fleshlight.

However, you knew there had to be a reason that this wasn’t the first toy in the list, and that at that price there was probably going to be a ‘but’.

And you’re right.

The biggest problem with all the low-priced Tenga sex toys is that they are designed for one use only.

But don’t give up just yet, as that’s not strictly as true as Tenga would like you to believe.

It’s true that if you do happen to orgasm whilst inside your TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat Onacup – or any of their one use products – that it’s difficult to clean up the mess. But it’s not impossible. You can simply rinse it out under some hot water, and then reapply a dollop of lube next time you want to use it.

Or you can use a condom, which keeps internal mess to an absolute minimum.

The way in which this toy is really sold as one use is because sooner or later – usually in under 10 uses, or much less if you are vigourous – the inside ‘skin’ will rip or tear, completely losing all suction.

One sure inside the TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat Onacup, all concerns about this being the one use product will rapidly dissolve from thought.

This is truly a great blow job complete with realistic sucking, slurping sounds. It’s honestly really, really good. And at this price it’s almost a no-brainer. Certainly worth a gamble!

If you’re feeling adventurous you can put your TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat Onacup somewhere sturdy – such as between the mattress and the bed – and then go hands-free.

The only disadvantage to this method is that the way in which you control the strength of the suction is by a little air hole, which you have to place your finger over to increase or decrease the suction, and when it’s between the bed you can’t reach that hole.

I have seen reviews from customers of the TENGA Standard Edition Deep Throat Onacup saying that this was so good that subsequent real blow jobs they received were somewhat disappointing in comparison. I wouldn’t go that far, as in my opinion no toy beats the real thing.

But this is bloody close.

And you might be concerned – as I was – about this being a disposable product, that you’re going to have to put it into your wheelie bin. Which could prove quite embarrassing.

But fear not, as one of the benefits to the curvy design of the container is that it closely resembles a typical roll on deodorant, and unless you specifically looking for sex toys in someone else’s wheelie bin, this probably wouldn’t catch your eye.

There are other toys similar to the Standard Edition Deep Throat Onacup available in the Tenga range, so either pick one that more fits your needs, or try this one then try some of the others if you enjoyed the sensation.

Also worth trying are the Tenga Eggs – but that’s for another time.

Rough Guide Price:

£9-12

In Summary

A brilliant sensation only let down by it’s intended one time use.

With a little care and persuasion, you can get more than one use out of this, but it won’t last more than 10 goes for sure.

However, whilst it does last, and for the money, this cannot be beat.

Read More Reviews

• Customer reviews at Lovehoney
• More at SexToys

Video Previews

• SexToys
• Plenty @ Youtube

Where to Buy?

• Lovehoney
• Tenga
• SexToys.co.uk
• Honeylicious

Bree Olson Deep-Throat Sex Doll Head

One of the toys I covered in my 11 best hands-free male masturbators in 2011 roundup was the Bree Olson Deep-Throat Sex Doll Head.

Now I appreciate that this is quite a specialist item and not everyone is going to want a life-size head (well, face) of a porn star sitting around the house. It’s one thing explaining away the Fleshlight to your other half, but this one is definitely going to scare the bejesus out of her/him.

I’m not going to do a huge review of the Bree Olson Deep-Throat Sex Doll Head, as I feel I covered it in enough depth in my roundup.

So if you want to read more just click on Bree’s face, which will take you to my other review where you can read more.

Rough Price Guide : £120

In Summary

Most guys like blowjobs, and most girls aren’t quite as keen on giving them as we are on getting them.

If you need more features to give you that realistic feeling, or you just real like Bree Olson, then this could be a great sex toy for you.

If not, grab yourself a fleshlight mouth opening insert instead.

Read More Reviews

• My more in depth review @ SexToys4Men

Video Previews

• Go to the ‘Video’ tab at SexShop 365

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexShop 365
• SexToys.co.uk

Fun Factory Cobra Libre Luxury Rechargable Male Vibrator

Next up is the Fun Factory Cobra Libre Luxury Rechargable Male Vibrator.

Phew, what a mouthful. No pun intended.

This is perhaps the oddest looking toy I have ever seen. In fact it’s so visually unappealing to me that the thought of sticking my member into the hole frankly scared me.

But I was reassured to see a large amount of overwhelmingly positive reviews from other very satisfied customers.

Also, it helped that Lovehoney had a demonstration video (more on that below) that highlighted that the membrane (the scary outer bit) was made from soft silicone material that in real life appeared quite flexible and bendy.

From all the promotional mumbo-jumbo that I have seen further Fun Factory Cobra Libre Luxury Rechargable Male Vibrator, it would appear that the wacky design was inspired by the movie Tron, or a futuristic concept car.

To me however, it looks like a cross between a Gillette razor and a hammerhead shark. Exactly the sort of thing I want to envisage going near my penis!

Anyway, enough about the crazy looks, let’s get on with how this bad boy operates.

The Fun Factory Cobra Libre Luxury Rechargable Male Vibrator is designed to stimulate the glans – or as it’s more commonly known, that bit around the banjo string. The main thing to know is that this area is considered the most densely packed with nerve endings on the whole penis, so targeting this area for pleasure can only be a good thing.

Okay so on with the other bad thing, aside from its looks.

The real pleasure killer is that it takes a full 12 hours to charge once it arrives at your house. This is pretty pants as if you’re at work, and you are looking forward to playing with your new toy when you get home, you’re going to have to delay that pleasure for 24 hours, which may actually add to the intensity of your next orgasm, if you look at the positives.

However, once it is fully charged, it will run for an hour on top speed.

Another positive is that you will never have to buy batteries, something that I consider a real plus point, as vibrating or battery driven products usually aren’t the most efficient when it comes to getting a lot of life out of expensive batteries.

But honestly, the big selling point for me for the Fun Factory Cobra Libre Luxury Rechargable Male Vibrator (sorry I have to put it like that from Google’s keywords purposes), is that this is the first real product I’ve ever seen deliberately targeting men that can definitely live up to the name ‘vibrator’.

There’s also a hint of Apple-esque tech going on here, as the charger connects via magnets, much like on the latest Apple Mac Book laptops. Very cool.

You may have tried Fleshlight’s vibro out in the past, you know the one where you put a vibrating bullet in your Fleshlight? The vibrations are pretty strong but they’re not focused. It’s more of an allover sensation. It’s pretty good, especially if you’re just used the standard Fleshlight.

It’s nowhere near the same as this though.

The vibrations sent through the Cobra Libre have to be felt to be believed. The Lovehoney’s video does a pretty good job of showing off just how strong they are. Strong, and silent too. Not like so many badly made or cheap sex toys, this really has that luxury well-built feel.

It’s also 100% waterproof – though the vibrations are strong enough to send a noticeable hum reverberating from the bathtub.

I would put this in the same category as many of the male toys from LELO, another luxury sex toy manufacturer.

Definitely one for a man who likes his sex toys to come with a few gadgets.

Rough Guide Price:

£75-£90

In Summary

A true luxury male sex toy for those who like their toys to come with more gadgets and gizmos than a smart phone.

If you can get over the bizarre looks, this can provide a healthy dose of pleasure.

Read More Reviews

• Customer reviews @ Lovehoney
• Customer reviews @ Sextoys.co.uk

Video Previews

• Video preview @ Lovehoney
• Video preview @ Sextoys.co.uk
• Video reviews on Youtube

Where to Buy?

• Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk

Doc Johnson Sasha Grey UR3 Deep Throat Stroker

From the super high-tech to the plane and basic low-tech now, as we move on to look at the Doc Johnson Sasha Grey UR3 Deep Throat Stroker.

By low-tech and just mean that there is no buttons or electricity involved here. The actual mould I guess you could say is quite high-tech.

As the name implies this male blow job toy masturbator is designed to resemble the mouth of super sexy porn star Sasha Grey.

The Doc Johnson Sasha Grey UR3 Deep Throat Stroker is made from UR3 cyber skin, so the sensation is very similar to that found inside a Fleshlight, though here you don’t have the hard plastic surround.

Not having a surround or case can be seen as either good or bad thing depending on your point of view.

It’s good because it keeps costs down, so the toy can be sold to you cheaper than if it came in a case.

But it’s bad because cases make hiding sex toys much easier, not to mention keeping them clean and dust free when not in use.

Overall however, with 5 ribbed inches to slide into and the nice, tight entry hole, this would certainly be a nice starter toy if you have never purchased a men’s sex toy before, but I would honestly recommend spending a little bit more money and getting either a Fleshlight or a Spider.

There’s also another very similar toy to this, identical in almost every way, other than it is shaped to resemble the mouth of anal loving porn queen Belladonna.

There is nothing particularly wrong with this toy, it just doesn’t jump out at you for anything significant either. And if you would rather go for a cheaper option and keep your costs to a minimum, and it might be worth taking a look at…

Rough Guide Price:

£18-£20

In Summary

There are toys out there that do a better job for less, so keep reading!

Read More Reviews

• Customer review @ Lovehoney

Video Previews

• A couple of videos on Youtube

Where to Buy?

• Lovehoney

Double Play Mouth and Vagina Masturbator

The Double Play Mouth and Vagina Masturbator is the perfect entry point into the low-cost reusable men’s sex toys and masturbator’s market.

It’s the same price (or slightly cheaper) than a Tenga product, but the beauty of this Double Play Mouth and Vagina Masturbator is that it’s perfectly fine to be rinsed out, patted down with a bit of talc, and reused again in the future.

It’s even better value when you consider that not only do you get the mouth entry point for a blow job, but flip it over and you get and vagina – or if your imaginative, and arse – entry hole also.

Of course, once you’re inside it’s not going to have the sensations or details found on the higher end products, but that’s to be expected when it costs less than a tenner. And it is still ribbed inside, so it’s not just completely smooth.

It’s also pretty tight too. Now you may like your toys tight, or maybe a little looser, and on the more expensive toys you get the choice, or at least some way to control the amount of suction. No such luxury here, but again you can’t have everything at this price.

If you’re unsure about spending £50, £60, £70 or more on your first toy, then this could be a great introductory purchase. It’s good enough to give you an accurate expectation of the current state of the kinds of technology and feelings found in men’s sex toys.

Rough Guide Price:

£9.99

In Summary

A very wallet friendly option with two holes for the price of one.

A great introduction to male sex toys.

Read More Reviews

• Customer reviews at Lovehoney

Video Previews

• Sorry, no video previews available for this one!

Where to Buy?

• Lovehoney

Sue Johanson Head Honcho

I had to Google to find out just exactly who Sue Johanson is, and I was expecting to see someone like Tracey Cox – you know, a sexpert MILF type figure.

Instead, I found an 81-year-old Canadian lady sucking on vibrator. I kid you not.

In fact here’s the picture, and I know some of you are not going to believe that.

And yes that is actually her. It turns out that Sue Johanson is one of Canada’s most well-known and prolific sex educators and media personalities.

Anyway, enough with the pictures of old ladies, if you still are feeling in any way sexual at this point let us continue.

Because it turned out that the Sue Johanson Head Honcho is actually a decent sex toy, though perhaps a little confusing to show up in a blow job sex toys roundup, when the opening is loosely based on a vagina.

It’s very similar to those hand-held masturbators that bear Tracey Cox’s name, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen any of them?

As you will have come to expect by now, with a low price point this doesn’t have a hard outer casing or shell container, as seen with the Spider or Fleshlight range.

What it does have however, is a nice tight opening that will stretch to accommodate all but the very largest of men (stretches to 2inches diameter) and once you’re inside there are three suction chambers, each half an inch apart, which caress, Matt Sarge, and stimulate both the head and the base of your cock at the same time.

Cleaning this toy is a piece of cake, as you can literally just turn it inside out and give it a rinse under the tap.

As with any cyber skin style product, it’s best to run it under the hot tap anyway prior to use, so it feels nice and warm to the touch. And make sure you use plenty of lubricant (only water-based for this toy) so you don’t get a friction burn.

It’s not the quietest of toys once it’s full of squishy, squelchy lubricant, so take that into consideration if you’re buying it for stealth use.

Rough Guide Price:

£15

In Summary

A high quality, well made product at a very reasonable price.

The only way this could get better is if it came in an outer casing, or shell, like the Fleshlight range.

Read More Reviews

• Plenty of customer reviews @ Lovehoney

Video Previews

• Plenty of videos on Youtube
• Product preview @ Lovehoney

Where to Buy?

• Lovehoney

Lusting Kiss Super Tight Masturbator

Onwards, and to the Lusting Kiss Super Tight Masturbator which can be yours for just £8.99 at the time of writing.

Though this one is actually shaped like a mouth, and a mouth wearing very garish pink lipstick at that.

It comes in a terrible box which will no doubt find itself straight in the bin. It’s that sort of thing that would possibly have put people off purchasing it and missing out on much more than just a cheap thrill.

Now, a word of warning here. The video shown on Lovehoney is actually of the wrong product, though the product they do show is amazingly similar and features all the same technology (Loveclone RX skin etc) but this one definitely has the mouth opening, where’s the video shows the vagina opening. You can buy the vagina opening toy separately, strangely it’s £1 more for what is essentially the same toy.

I find the cheaper the toy – in terms of cost that is – the tighter the entry, and the Lusting Kiss Super Tight Masturbator is no different. It really is a tight fit, but it does stretch to accommodate pretty much any size girth.

The plus point of this toy being so tight is that you can feel every ridge, notch, and bump as you slide in and out.

Again, as with all the low cost blow job toys shown here, this comes without a case or outer shell, and as it has a small hole at the end to allow air to escape, if you were to put it between your bed and mattress (or a similarly shaped place), you may find lube squishing out as you thrust, which can create a real mess.

Thankfully that hole makes it pretty easy to clean, you just put water in one end and wait for it to flush out the other. Simple.

This is really a great entry point into the male sex toy marketplace, and whilst you’re not going to get all the top of the range features found on the more expensive products, you can’t ask for much more for the money.

And as I’ve already mentioned, you get a choice between a mouth or a pussy, or your can grab both and still have change left from a £20 note.

Rough Guide Price:

£8-£10

In Summary

Plenty of fun for cost concious buyers. Rarely will you find this much fun for less than a tenner.

Read More Reviews

• Customer reviews @ Lovehoney

Video Previews

• Video preview available at Lovehoney

Where to Buy?

• Lovehoney

Toy Joy TANGO Mouth Masturbator

You know when you’ve been Tango’d.

Or you will at least know when you try to fit inside the Tango just how tight the entry hole can be on the male sex toy.

Just make sure you use plenty of lubricant and are nice and hard before trying to enter it.

With that said this is really a low price imitation of the Fleshlight range.

You get a solid plastic outer shell – great for storing your Toy Joy TANGO Mouth Masturbator and keeping it dirt and dust free – and it’s also shaped enough like a thermos flask to not draw any unwanted attention. That said, it’s still pretty easy to figure out what it is once you pop the lid.

Similarly to the Fleshlight, the insert can be removed for cleaning, or for use on its own, though I’m not sure why you would use it without the case.

The big difference here between this and the Fleshlight is simply the quality of the insert. Both externally on the lips, the entry point, and the feel of the inner texture, is simply not on a par with that of a Fleshlight.

And I guess that’s why this rocks in at under half the price of an equivalent Fleshlight.

That said, it’s still a good toy in its own right, and if it’s the peak of your budget, then it will make an acceptable substitute until you can afford to purchase a Fleshlight or Spider.

Rough Guide Price:

£30

In Summary

A cheap alternative to a Fleshlight, but the insert simply isn’t comparable to Fleshlight’s latest offerings.

Read More Reviews

• Customer review at SexToys.co.uk

Video Previews

• No videos for this one sorry!

Where to Buy?

• SexToys.co.uk

Glow Stroker Pierced Lips

A true specialist toy now, proving that male sex toy manufacturers are more than happy to go niche with their blow job toys.

The Glow Stroker Pierced Lips is a masturbation device for fans of girls with pierced lips.

Certainly this is not going to be for everybody, and that little jingling piercing could be enough to give the game away if you’re trying to use this toy in private.

But those whose favourite girl – the porn star or a girl you know in real life – has her lip pierced, and you’ve always wondered what a blow job would be like from her, and this could just be the perfect toy for your situation.

I quite like toys that use this see-through skin material as you can see yourself sliding in and out in a way in which you never could be the real girl.

Once you’re inside there’s an array of small bumps and ridges to tease and please.

However, as this is an open tube sex toy, you’re not going to get a feeling of suction that you would with a closed back toy, or one that features a little air hole which you can cover with your finger.

It’s hard to recommend this at twice the price of some of the cheaper masturbators in this list, but if you specifically want a blow job from a girl with a piercing, and your significant other is not willing to get her lip pierced, then this may well fill the gap nicely.

Rough Guide Price:

£20-£25

In Summary

A blowjob toy for a man with specific fetish.

Read More Reviews

• Customer review @ SexToys.co.uk

Video Previews

• No videos available sorry!

Where to Buy?

• Sextoys.co.uk

Wrapping It Up

There are two more potential candidates for guys who would like to simulate the sensations felt when getting a blow job by using the men’s sex toy.

However I’m well aware that this is now a really long round up, and I’m going to review both of these other two products separately – well in a side-by-side comparison – but as they are not strictly blow job toys, it kind of makes sense to do it that way anyway.

So with that, I’m going to finish up here and hopefully I’ve helped you come to a conclusion as to which would be the best blow job toy for you.

Keeping Your Toys Clean and Fresh

Many sex toy manufacturers have spotted the opportunity for a quick up-sell with their range of toys.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as keeping your toys clean and hygienic is of course, very important.

But you can get away with buying corn flour from your super market and using that instead of the expensive branded options, such as the Fleshlight Powder.

If you can afford it, then of course make sure you get some of the powder with your order, as it really is a bit nicer than using plain corn flour – plus it removes the ball ache of having to remember, and then search for corn flour next time you are in the super market. Plus, the official stuff smells much nicer

Recommended Lube

It’s absolutely essential to use lubricant when using any of these toys.

Some of them come with free samples, and others such as the Tenga are pre-lubricated. But if you want to re-use the Tenga, you need your own lube.

I recommend going with ID Glide. Buy a big bottle – it lasts ages, and works out miles cheaper than buying smaller bottles.

The only time I recommend smaller bottles is for the specialist lubes, like the ones that add a heat sensation or similar, as you might not wish to always have that affect with every use.

And if you are going for the more specialist / sensation enhancing lubes, go for a variety pack, as its good value.

My Final Recommendation

Personally, I love my Jenna Haze Fleshlight Girls blowjob toy, and if I had to recommend just one toy from this list it would be that.

See you next time when I will be reviewing the Rev1000 Vs the Rends R-1 A10 cyclone.

I want to talk to you about the Amazon Kindle. Probably best if you say that in your best John Bentley voice.

See, the Amazon Kindle is not your typical sex toy. Some might say it’s not a sex toy at all. And maybe they are right – maybe it’s not a toy.

But it’s definitely built for pleasure. Let me explain.

If you are a fan of erotic fiction – erotica as I shall refer to it from here on in – then you may well own a book or two already. No doubt good generic titles that no one will give you too hard a time for reading. Maybe one of those Mammoth books that cover so many different genres.

Alternatively, you may do most of your reading on the net, preferring to stick to the free adult erotica sites, like Literotica or Nifty.

And that’s fine too.

A quick read, then wipe your browser history and away you go. Happy days.

But what if you want to enjoy your erotic books away from the computer – in the bath maybe – and you don’t much fancy perching your brand new laptop precariously on the side of the bath.

What are your options?

Well, you can buy the paper book. That’s one way. No risk of a bath-time disaster or electrocution. But also unless you’re very open with your partner (and have no prying kids) or you live alone, then you can’t really get very adventurous with your book choices.

What if you wanted to read some heavy BDSM or even some Gay erotica?

What would your wife / girlfriend say if they suddenly found your book stash?

None too impressed, a bunch of unpleasant conversations and some funny looks no doubt.

How about if you wanted to just experiment with a few different genres? Maybe you aren’t too sure which would be your favourite. More paper backs and potentially an ebay session a few weeks later to get rid of your unwanted choices.

Annoying.

Or you could go with the Kindle.

A bit like your adventures with PC based porn back in the mid-to-late ninties, you could download a stash of high quality (read: silicone enhanced) grot and stash it neatly in some horrendously nested folder structure only you could ever find. Safe in the knowledge that computers were so complicated, no one would even try to find your stash, let alone understand how.

On the Kindle you can stash your erotica choices amongst Dickens, Wilde and Rowling.

Or you’re selection of autobiographies. I’m not judging.

You have one device that gives you access to all your favourite reading materials, and no one would be any the wiser to your choice of story – whether you’re on the bus, in the bath or on a plane.

Anyway, I guess the same goes here for the iPad. But that’s a slightly different beast in that I don’t own one so can’t give a proper comment.

So with all that said, that’s why my Mrs gave me a sex toy for Christmas this year without even realising. Cheers!

Interested? Get your Kindle from Amazon.

I wouldn’t normally post more ‘pressy’ things like this, but as it involves my favourite online store, I thought I might.

Lovehoney have had an interesting year – their first prime time TV advert ran in September of this year much to the alarm of some of the more conservative newspapery types. You know – the ones who would find something to complain about if the skies started raining gold.

And aside from growing yet again in terms of online presence, number and range of products in stock, and general all round just being great-ness, it’s interesting to see that Lovehoney are moving on to the Highstreet when most adult retailers are moving off it.

Posh City Types

On top of that, Lovehoney have being buying sex toy production facilities and will be rolling out their own lines uner the name of Rock Box to the American market in 2012. So all in, pretty interesting to see that they are expanding not only through a recession but also as most of the sex toy, and adult entertainment industry in general is struggling. And I mean struggling.

Now, guys, you may well not have heard of Coco De Mer. To give it the very rough low down, it’s a posh dildo shop. A dildo boutique for posh London types. They do of course sell some posh cock toys for us posh guy types, but we aren’t the primary market.

I imagine Lovehoney will be incorporating any toys they didn’t stock already from the Coco De Mer range into their ever growing arsenal. And with their buying power, no doubt they can bring the prices down too.

Or maybe not, sometimes prices are kept artificially high to keep footballers’ wives happy in the knowledge that they own more expensive sex toys than the rest of us, because they are richer. A bit like buying an Aston Martin Cygnet.

Still, if you are rich and want to own the posh man’s Cygnet sex toy equivalent, check out the Lelo range, such as the Tor cock ring – and don’t forget to check out my handy guide on how to wear a cock ring here. Shameless plug.

So still, men aren’t really an acceptable target market for sex toys on the high street. Which is a shame. Maybe ten years from now things will have changed.

But thankfully until then, we still have fast growing online shops like Lovehoney to satisfy our every need

Whatever your circumstances, sometimes you experience an unwanted sex drought. This used to mean a visit to the mental Wank-Bank in the company of Ms Palm and her Five Hairy Sisters.

Thankfully, in 2011, there are a number of alternative methods of self pleasure, and today we are going to take a look at those that enable us to go Hands Free

Segmented, For Your Pleasure

As this segment of the male sex toy’s market has expanded, our options have increased, giving us a variety of price points, realism levels and positional preferences. I have tried to cover all the different areas available and choose the very best products from each section.

All of the toys in this list have been given a Rough Price Guide, which is simply the price I found that particular sex toy at when I was doing this list, to give you an idea of whether you are getting a good deal or not, at your site of choice

The main thing I look for in any men’s sex toy is that the picture of the toy itself turns you on sufficiently to want to explore it for yourself, in person. Hopefully you will agree with my choices!

What is Cyberskin

Many of the products in this list are made from Cyberskin, so I thought I would quickly explain what it is.

Cyberskin / UR3 – It’s a fancy name for the latest technology designed to replicate the look and feel of human skin. Sounds kinda creepy put like that. Maybe Wikipedia will explain it better.

Best For: Chubby Lovers

I recently covered the April Flores chubby pussy cyberskin pussy, so head over there and read more if you’re interested.

Basically this is a sex toy for men who like their women on the curvier side, with extra plump flesh bits where it counts.

I’m guessing this toy isn’t selling that well as it keeps getting reduced in price. No bad thing as you could grab yourself a bargain here.

Pro’s

• One of very few toys out there for men who like chubby women
• Lovely plump pussy lips
• Low price point for a toy of this type

Con’s

• No arse hole :/
• Not for those who aren’t BBW / chubby fans
• Hard to use doggystyle

Rough Price Guide : £80-£100

In Summary

A fun, life size toy for guys who want to experience a taste of fucking a chubby / bbw woman.

Read More Reviews

• My review of the April Flores chubby cyberskin pussy
• April Flores Sex Toy! at Bizarre Mag

Video Previews

• Lovehoney
• April Flores herself introduces the toy at Youtube
• Real guy fucking the April Flores toy (NSFW by any means) at X Tube

Available From

• Lovehoney
• Sex Shop 365

Best For: Blowjob Fans

By far and away one of the most popular faces in the porn industry over the last 4 or 5 years has been that of Bree Olson.

You may well recognise her from her recent exploits with Charlie Sheen. But more than likely you know her from countless American porn flicks / scenes where Bree can regularly be seen taking cock in all of her holes. But it’s her mouth in particular that her toy was made to imitate.

Pro’s

• Decent detail, but generic enough to imagine she is just about any woman you like
• Much easier to hide than a full size sex doll
• You can insert a bullet vibrator to give a nice vibration
• Varying strength of suction, which you can control
• Blowjobs on demand!

Con’s

• Bit creepy
• Almost twice the cost of a Fleshlight ‘mouth’ insert
• If you’re face fucking Bree, you won’t see her face that much… if you get me.

Rough Price Guide : £120

In Summary

Most guys like blowjobs, and most girls aren’t quite as keen on giving them as we are on getting them.

If you need more features to give you that realistic feeling, or you just real like Bree Olson, then this could be a great sex toy for you.

If not, grab yourself a fleshlight mouth opening insert instead.

Read More Reviews

• Can’t find any more impartial reviews, for this one sorry

Video Previews

• Go to the ‘Video’ tab at SexShop 365

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexShop 365
• SexToys.co.uk

Best For: Graphic Anal

I have reviewed the Belladonna extreme ass and pussy toy before, which you can read here.

I’m not a huge fan of Belladonna, and I’m even less of a fan of extreme anal – gaping, stretching, or god forbid any of that other more intense stuff – but it’s still nice to see toys catering for people who like that sort of thing.

But overall this toy looks quite fun, and you can forget all about Belladonna if you so desire, once you have opened the box and got excited.

Pro’s

• Two holes
• Decent amounts of external detail
• Could DP this toy with a buddy, if you were feeling very kinky

Con’s

• Those hands get in the way of penetration
• Not deep enough to accommodate more than 6inches
• There are better toys out there for the money

Rough Price Guide : £75 – 120

In Summary

Read More Reviews

• There is my review here
• Customer reviews available at Sex Toys

Video Previews

• No one seems to have a video preview available, sorry!

Available From

• Sex Toys
• The cheapest place at time of writing was Lovehoney
• And the most expensive was Simply Pleasure
• Sex Shop 365

Best For: Low Budget Fleshlight Alternative

If you’re after the same sensation of a fleshlight for one third the price, then Jenna Jameson’s UR3 realistic pussy toy may well be exactly what you are looking for.

OK, so you don’t get the outer casing that you get with a Fleshy, but is that casing worth an extra £40-60 to you? Bearing in mind though, it will make it easier to hide and keep your toy pussy clean.

The one thing I don’t particularly like about this toy is that because it isn’t encased, you kinda feel like your cock is inside another cock. Bit strange.

But you can slide this between your matress, roll it in a towel, or between two pillows, lube it up and get fucking and forget about everything else.

Pro’s

• Cheap alternative to a Fleshlight
• Decent amount of detail
• Good ‘entry level’ men’s sex toy

Con’s

• Looks weirdly like your cock is sliding into a second cock
• Messy – open backed so be careful
• Not very tight
• Difficult to wedge between things

Rough Price Guide : £25-30

In Summary

A decent low cost alternative to a Fleshlight.

Read More Reviews

• Read the ones from ‘Buzz Man’ and ‘Horny Humper’ at Lovehoney, they are funny
• Decent, lengthy review at Sex Toys

Video Previews

• This one’s a bit ‘powerpoint’ @ Youtube

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk

Best For: Those Who Aren’t Satisfied With Just Jenna’s Pussy

I couldn’t review just Jenna pussy stroker without giving the other main option a once over as well.

If there was ever one girl in the porn industry who has been covered head to toe, it’s Jenna Jameson, so you shouldn’t be surprised to find out there’s heaps and heaps of toys based on all her parts out there.

So if you crave more than just a quick, cheap fuck with her pussy, then you may well consider her UR3 Vagina and Ass toy from Doc Johnson, one of the leading lights in the adult toy business.

As with any ‘branded’ product, I always worry that I’m paying a little overhead for the license, on top of the product. And there are ‘unlicensed’ alternatives (elsewhere in this list) that are more advanced and detailed. But they aren’t moulded from Jenna.

Anyway, you get full unrestricted access to one of Porn’s hottest pieces of Ass (and pussy) – and when you get bored of the vanilla fuck, you can insert the supplied vibrating bullet and experience the whole sensation again as though you just bought a brand new toy.

Pro’s

• The pubes – you will either love them or hate them.
• Pussy, Ass and Vibrating Bullet giving loads of options
• Decent, realistic sensation
• Easy enough to clean

Con’s

• Yep, them pubes – you will either love them or hate them.
• Not deep enough for larger guys
• Warming it up in the sink is a pain, so use the warm shower if possible

Rough Price Guide : £150

In Summary

A very decent, realistic looking pussy and arse toy that can be any girl you can dream of, not just Jenna Jameson, and she is always up for a shag.

Read More Reviews

• There’s a great video review below from DIY Orgasms
• More customer reviews at Lovehoney
• And more at SexToys.co.uk

Video Previews

• Awesome video review from DIYOrgasms – highly recommended @ Daily Motion
• Lovehoney have a decent video preview here

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk
• SexShop365

Best For: Realistic Anal

As a visitor to this site, you have probably heard about Fleshlight’s already – the original sex toy in a can.

Well, the Fleshlight crew haven’t sat back and rested on their laurels over the past few years, rather, they have continually reinvested in their product range and the modern Fleshy’s are a different league to the earlier models.

So I guess the first thing to cover really is what I get asked a lot about – is the Fleshlight still worth getting, now that the Spider has reinvented the Fleshlight-style casing. The answer isn’t so straight forward, so I suggest you read over my review (on the link) and the comments, and make up your own mind.

However, the other thing worth covering here is the Anal Factor.

Now, Anal is probably up their as fantasy number 1 on most guys list. Even if you have had anal with a willing partner, there’s a good chance you aren’t getting it regularly. Or as regularly as you would like anyway.

The sex toy industry realised this and has been trying to make a worthwhile, high quality anal toy for ages. And usually they fall short.

Not so with the Jenna Haze signature series Forbidden Fleshlight. In fact, not so with any of the Jenna Haze range, the oral and vaginal inserts are amazing too.

As you push past her tempting entrance, you encounter a tight ribbed, realistic sensation that gives way to her wavy colon! Ha!

You’re in for a real treat. And yes, you can use this insert – like any other Fleshlight or Race Utensil insert – with a Spider.

Top Tip: The fleshlight signature series only changes the external part of the insert – so you change the mouth, pussy lips or arse hole exterior, but the internal bit is the same for each porn star.

There are three inserts – the mouth, the pussy, and the arse. Each insert has it’s own internal feel – so the mouth doesn’t feel like a pussy when you’re inside it, but the mouth on the Jenna Haze Fleshlight is the same internally as the mouth on the Tera Patrick or Kitsuni Fleshlight… same for the pussy and the arse.

I just want to make that really clear! Hope it helps.

Not a fan of Jenna Haze?

What if you like the idea of fucking you’re favourite pornstar, but that’s not Jenna Haze?

Well, there are a number of alternative Fleshlight Girls available, including…

• Riley Steele
• Teagan Presley
• Tera Patrick
• Jesse Jane
• Lisa Ann (Tiger Wood’s mistress)
• … or even more

Or should you be so inclined, you could try one of the Fleshlight Male Pornstars:

• Brent Everett
• Joey Visconti
• … or the other guys

Pro’s

• The closest thing you will get to anal without being inside an arse
• The skin sensation / feel has been massively increased since the earlier fleshlights
• Feel’s just right – not too tight, not too loose

Con’s

• The ‘signature’ on the insert is a bit weird / pointless
• The internals don’t change between the different stars (See the top tip above for more info)
• It doesn’t vibrate

Rough Price Guide : £60-65

In Summary

Amazing. The very best anal experience I have ever had, outside of real anal.

And no need to worry about whether you’re hurting her.

Read More Reviews

• A forum thread of reviews at the official Fleshlight Forums
• Some customer reviews at Lovehoney

Video Previews

• A couple of Jenna Haze videos at the official Fleshlight site
• Fleshlight girls preview video at Youtube (very tame)
• Video preview from SexShop365 (click the video tab)
• Video preview from SexToys.co.uk (click the video tab)

Available From

• Lovehoney
• SexToys.co.uk
• Sex Shop 365

Best For: Fans of Ebony Girls

There aren’t a lot of options for the guy who likes ebony girls, which is a real shame as far as I’m concerned.

Sure, there’s the mocha Fleshlights, and of course you could always just use your imagination / watch some ebony porn, but it’s not quite the same.

Which is partly the reason why I love the Realistic Ebony Pussy and Arse from Cyberskin. Realistic that is, when you aren’t using it in vibrate mode, which takes it up another level.

This is one of the best, most life like fucks you will have – bar none. Unfortunately it comes in at quite a cost – near £250, but considering that’s basically two trips to an escort (or just one to a high class girl) and you realise the value here.

I’ve reviewed this toy before, so if you want to know more, click here.

Pro’s

• Very lifelike, whether you choose the ebony or ivory model
• Vibrating function for additional pleasure
• Very detailed, and deep enough to handle bigger guys
• Not just limited to doggy like the pictures suggest

Con’s

• Heavy, and hard to hide
• Pretty expensive
• Chilly, so remember to warm up under the shower or in a warm bath first

Rough Price Guide: £250

In Summary

One of the most realistic men’s sex toys available today, and a very high end product.

Read More Reviews

• My review is here
• Several customer reviews at Lovehoney
• Tons of reviews at Amazon USA

Video Previews

• Lovehoney have a preview video
• A guy actually using the Cyberskin Realistic Ebony Pussy and Arse at Xhamster (Very NSFW)

Available From

• Lovehoney
• Decent deal available at Amazon USA

Best For: High Quality at a Low Price

If you are a regular reader at SexToys4Men, you will know of my love for Race Utensil – a Japanese company who make really high quality, detailed and realistic pussy replicas.

Well this is the Utensil Race Fame Realistic Vagina and Ass, one of their range of three ‘full size’ pussy and arses, and as with all the Race Utensil products, it’s got great detail – internal and external – at a great price.

This isn’t going to be a huge toy in terms of size, and it’s a whole 11kg lighter than the Cyberskin Realistic Pussy and Arse above, but the way I look at this is that this is the pussy of a horny little Japanese pornstar compared to the round, voluptuous curves of an Ebony babe.

Of course, being smaller and lighter means it’s much easier to hide – and you can probably tell from the pictures (lots available at the Lovehoney site) that you could probably find a suitable drawer to store this toy in when not in use.

Pro’s

• Small, light and tight
• Half the price of other pussy / arse toys
• Race Utensil – their products are amazing quality

Con’s

• Not full size compared to the Cyberskin toy
• Maybe won’t be deep enough for bigger guys

Rough Price Guide : £100 – 110

In Summary

A great alternative to the more expensive life size pussy and arse toys.

Read More Reviews

• Struggling to find other reviews for the Utensil Race Fame Realistic Vagina and Ass sorry!

Video Previews

I can’t find any video previews of the Utensil Race Fame Realistic Vagina and Ass, however I have linked to two other realistic sleeves from Race Utensil, as the principle is still the same.

• Utensil Race Upwards Japanese Realistic Sleeve video
• Utensil Race Meiki Downwards Japanese Realistic Sleeve video

Available From

• Lovehoney

Best For: Brilliant Fleshlight Alternative

The Spider Hands Free Realistic Male Masturbator is the best men’s sex toy I have ever reviewed.

I’m really not going to go into great depths here as there is a ton of great info over on my review, and I would just be repeating myself.

All I will say is make sure you consider the Spider!

Top Tip: The Spider is 100% exclusive to Lovehoney in the UK right now, so there’s not much point trying to find an alternative seller.

Pro’s

• It’s a Fleshlight that can be stuck to walls
• Can use other inserts (Fleshlight, Utensil Race) instead of the Spider insert
• Slightly more expensive than a Fleshlight but the extra money buys you so much more flexibility

Con’s

• Makes you a little pissed that Fleshlight didn’t offer that suction cup right away
• The suction cup may lose suction under very heavy thrusting
• Slighty more expensive than a Fleshlight

Rough Price Guide: £90

In Summary

Easily the best Men’s sex toy of 2011. And probably 2012 too.

Read More Reviews

• My massive review
• More customer reviews at Lovehoney

Video Previews

• Preview video at Lovehoney

Available From

• Only Lovehoney at the moment

Best For: Full Size Sex Doll

Well out of everything on this list, this has to be the most WTF item. And at just shy of £730 quids, this is by far and away the most expensive.

And yet this is still not the most expensive sex toy I have ever seen – for that you would need to find the Real Doll which rocks in at about $6000 US dollars a pop. Madness.

Still, these dolls are not designed for mass consumption. The makers know they won’t be selling 1000′s a year, and that’s partly reflected in the price. Of course, they are expensive because of other reasons too.

Firstly your Teddy Babe will have a soft, velvety-plush material stuffed firmly with non-allergenic poly-fil, which both mimics the silkiness of human flesh while giving the character a warmth and a ‘cuddly’ dimension that is largely lacking in latex love dolls (blow up dolls), silicone love dolls, and other adult toys.

Also, your Teddy Babe’s breasts are full and soft. The nipples are made of the same velvety plush material and are soft, silky and kissable.

A Teddy Babe’s face is not intended to be ultra-realistic, but faithful to her nature as a sexy plush love doll character.

Her eyes are made of ultra-realistic printed decals supported by a plastic base. The eyes vary in style and color; depending on which Teddy Babes character they belong to.

Lips also vary in style and color from character to character, and are made of sleek, kissable latex rubber.

I’m sure I could go on, and on, and on… and that’s good because at this price you want a lot for your money. It’s good to know you’re getting it.

Pro’s

• You can replace their (her?) pussy with a Fleshlight, Race Utensil etc
• A full, life size girl that’s a very acceptable substitute for a real woman
• Fully pose-able with her wire frame skeleton, and you can dress her in a number of kinky outfits

Con’s

• No anal entry point… *sigh*
• Though she folds up, storage is going to be tricky
• The cost

Rough Price Guide: £730

In Summary

These dolls aren’t for everyone, and they are expensive.

However, with just a few ‘visits’ your doll becomes cheaper than seeing a lady of the night, and is also never going to give you an STD or ruin your

Read More Reviews

• Customer Reviews at Lovehoney

Video Previews

• Short preview at Youtube
• Long preview at Youtube

Available From

• Lovehoney

Best For: Hardcore Perverts

When Pipedream looked at the Men’s sex toy market they noticed a glaring omission – high quality, realistic, life sized replicas of mans favourite lady parts.

And being the gentlemen that they are, they then promptly plugged that gap with their awesome Extreme range.

I first saw the first glimpses of the Pipedream Extreme range back at the start of Summer in an adult trade journal called Erotic Trade Only. I remember thinking – wow, would I love to be rich enough to afford that.

These toys are aimed at richer folk than me, sadly. But I have seen the Pipedream Extreme Realistic Vagina and Ass Male Masturbator for myself, in the (fanta) flesh so the speak, and these don’t disappoint. I have to admit, I felt kinda grubby touching the flesh (and exploring inside) at a Tradeshow. Bit like sloppy 16ths… kinda says how life-like it is though.

The positional choices with this masturbator are basically limited to your imagination. It can do pretty much any position a lady could do, but of course you will need to hold it in some of the more complicated positions. And it’s pretty heavy – life-like as I say. Fat bottomed girls indeed.

Honestly, if I could afford this, I would buy it in a New York minute.

Pro’s

• Looks, feels and responds like the real thing
• Life size
• Positional possibilities

Con’s

• No vibrations – though you can put your own Bullet in the hole you aren’t using
• The cost
• The weight

Rough Price Guide : £320

In Summary

The product I most wish I could afford.

Read More Reviews

• Not so much a review as a lot of product detail at the Official Pipedream Website

Video Previews

• Great video review at Daily Motion

Available From

• Lovehoney

Yeah, But Which One Should I Buy?

Well, as ever that decision is really entirely up to you. You will know just by looking at them which turn you on and which are meh.

I would probably say if you own no sex toys at all, then start with a Fleshlight or a Spider if you have a little more money.

Both are the great entry points into the sex toys market, and both are remarkably easy to stash away from prying eyes.

And if you do own a sex toy already and are looking for something new, interesting or different, then I genuinely hope this list helps you decide.

In Conclusion

So that concludes my list of the very best hand’s free male masturbation toys available as 2011 comes to a close.

There are, of course, other options out there – alternatives on the same theme. You might prefer the Tera Patrick fleshlight girl over Jenna Haze, or the Maria Ozawa sleeve from Race Utensil instead of the full size pussy.

It’s good to have the choice.

And hopefully 2012 will only bring us more choice, more variety and more innovation.

Whether you already own a cock ring or two, or you are thinking of buying one, this handy video guide will help you actually use your cock ring properly.

In what I consider a huge flaw in the Sex Toy industry, and not just the Men’s side of the market either, but the sex toy industry in general, your typical Cock Ring won’t come with instructions.

It’s like there is some unwritten rule out there – harking back to the School playground days – where Men are expected to know how to use a sex toy instinctively, because it’s to do with our willys, and we have had them since birth :/

Anyway, when you find a video like this on Youtube, and you see there are 18,000 other viewers just to this video alone, you realise that actually, not every man is born with the knowledge of how to do everything right first time.

Why Should You Wear a Cock Ring

There are two main reasons why you might want to wear a cock ring.

The first is that a cock ring, properly in place and tight around your balls, will keep you harder, longer.

The second reason is that, as a result of the first reason, your cock has a stronger and firmer appearance. Which helps with confidence, mood and everything else required for good sex.

How Does A Cock Ring Work?

Cock Ring’s work by trapping the blood that naturally flows into your penis during an erection.

Your body would normally trap this blood anyway, but the penis ring helps the muscle tighten further, letting less blood out than your body naturally would. This is additionally beneficial if you have a disfunction in this muscle which would normally allow the blood to escape more easily, keeping your penis from staying hard.

A cock ring applied properly to the base of an erect cock will help stop the blood that is keeping the penis hard from returning to the body. In this manner, the cock ring helps maintain a firmer erection.

What Types of Cock Ring are Available?

There are various different types of cock ring – from the beginners to the hardcore types.

You will notice that the cock ring’s aimed at beginners are usually pretty stretchy, made for getting on and taking off easily.

The more hardcore, metal cock rings for example, require a bit more planning and practice – a good idea for any new sex toy, especially one which you use with a partner – but in my opinion they not only look better but produce a much tighter fit that helps you last longer.

Best For Beginners

It’s hard to go wrong with the Big Daddy Cock Ring – available in a number of different colours to suit your tastes.

It’s simple, effective and very highly reviewed. Worth a look, for sure.

Another simple but very effective design is this 7 Function Vibrating Magic Cock Ring 2.0 from Lovehoney.

This cock ring features a removable, powerful bullet vibe – making the stretchy rubber ring / sleeve easy to wash without damaging the vibe, plus giving your Mrs something to play with.

The inner loop sits around your cock shaft, and the second bigger loop straddles your ball sack, making a tight, pleasing fit that’s sure to make you look good and feel even better.

If you’re unsure whether your new cock ring will fit, why not go for this pack of three BASIC Sex Toys Get Hard Cock Ring Set, featuring a size to fit all – and if you’re daring, maybe you can get more than one on

Best For Hardcore Guys

This is the Heavy Metal Cock Ring in Medium, available at Lovehoney.

The thing with metal cock rings is you can basically forget about taking it off once your hard. And if you start freaking out at it’s tightness or whatever, you could be in for a rough ride.

Hence why I list them under the ‘hardcore’ section. I wouldn’t advise you try a metal ring until you have cut your teeth on a stretchy rubber ring.

Alternatively, whilst still looking very hardcore and coming from one of the leading brand in Men’s sex toys, you could try this Stretch to Fit Cock Ring from TitanMen.

You will definitely notice a difference in feel when using a thicker ring, and again, this makes the ‘hardcore’ list for that exact reason.

Returning to the heavy metal feel is this Tear Drop Heavy Metal Cock Ring.

The tear drop shape is probably my favourite looking cock ring to wear, but as a piece of pretty specialist engineering, unfortunately this awesome looking ring doesn’t come cheap. Being metal though, it will last forever.

And the orgasms you will have with this on blow anything else away.

Best For Couples

You might think that a cock ring would only ever really be used for couples, but some of the other cock rings in this guide can be used for solo pleasure as well.

This list focuses on those cock ring’s that are 100% designed for pleasuring your partner, but they don’t forget about you either.

You could try the Rocks Off 4 Us Vibrating Cock Ring.

Rock’s Off is a brand I have featured on SexToys4Men before. One thing worth noting is that whilst their products kick serious arse, the batteries they supply are pretty crappy, so make sure you pick up a replacement when purchasing (from Asda, Amazon or whatever) to avoid disappointment. The good news, these batteries work in all the Rocks Off products.

The vibrations you (the guy with the penis ) get from this are a lot stronger than your partner’s clitty will receive. It’s kinda teasey, but it’s good fun all the same.

Turn your cock into a vibrating whirlygig with the Screaming O Propello Dual Stimulation Vibrating Ring.

The good news here – it’s a pretty cheeky introduction to anal stimulation for your Mrs, if that’s not something she would normally go for. You can buy this, pretending you had no idea

The only downside I see here is the requirement for two batteries, but twice the fun for all

Lastly for couples, as I already covered the 7 Speed Vibrating Cock Ring I’m not going to do so again, but you can read a more in depth review of it here.

Best For Gadget Lovers

At just £7.99, you could buy this as a sort of jokey present, a bit like a sexy stocking filler for xmas. Or perhaps something to break the ice for your first time with your new partner… on second thoughts, that’s a terrible idea.

Anyway, I love how the Sex Counter Cock Ring ambitiously goes into the tens of thousands.

There’s a really in depth review of this product over at Lovehoney, and it kinda restates the fact that this is more of a novelty item than a proper long term sex aid. Could be fun though?

Technically not so much of a cock ring as a lady-parts-vibrator that you just happen to strap your cock in too.

This gadgetty little number has touch sensors that activate the vibrator part as it rubs against her clit during sex. This makes it completely hands free, so you and your partner can get on with enjoying yourselves, rather than playing with the remote.

Unusually for a sex toy of this type, it’s pretty cheap too – at only £12.59 as I write this. Get the Pussy Arouser Vibrator cock ring at SexToys365.

However, if you are looking for a cock ring with a remote control, then the Hero Remote Control Wireless Cock Ring could very well be for you.

Again, fortunately the inventors of this cock ring had the foresight not to leave a nasty dangling wire coming from the cock ring to the remote. The vibrations are as much for you as they are for her, and as this is a relatively simple design, there’s little to go wrong.

Cheapest Cock Rings

At this price – just £1.99 – you could afford to use this BASIC Sex Toys Love Ring just once and then throw it away.

Which is actually exactly what you’re supposed to do. This is a one time use only device, with a non-rechargeable bullet vibrator built in.

Oh the huge-manatees, think of the environment!

Can you live with your cock contributing to global warming? Still, it’s proper cheap tho, innit?

Worth checking out is this alternative.

Cheap, cheerful and with bold claims of making your erection last up to 400% long, that’s an extra 45 second’s worth of rod on

The imaginatively titled Love Ring is available at SexToys.co.uk for just £1.95 in ‘coloured’. How racist.

This is the RingO cock ring by Screaming O, at Lovehoney.

Strangely, they list three colours in the picture but I think it’s picked at random when you order. So you may end up with a colour you’re not happy with.

Still, at just £2.99 for a long lasting and effective cock ring, you can’t go too far wrong.

Most Expensive Cock Rings

When you think of expensive sex toys, you think of LELO, a company who sell Sex Toys to celebrities and the like. You know, rich people?

So it should come as no surprise to find two of the three most expensive cock rings available today are from LELO.

Oh, I should mention, they are expensive, but they are good. So like everything in life, you get what you pay for…. With one exception

This is the LELO Oden, which I believe is the most expensive ‘cock ring’ available today, at £109.99 from Lovehoney.

You might expect this to be the absolute perfect choice, if you’re rich and want the best. Not so.

Read the review, it’s problematic, and a bit like anything technological, you should probably hold on for version 2.0… or just grab the…

This is the LELO Tor.

It’s a rechargeable vibrating cock ring that features a microprocessor CPU to adapt the vibrations as you desire.

There’s 6 different vibration modes to choose from, and LELO reckon it should last you the lifespan equivalent of 10,000 disposable cock rings. Which is nice. Especially as I harped on about the environment earlier.

But with that said, are they expecting you to be handing down your cock ring as some sort of family heir loom? Can you imagine how rank it would be after 10,000 lifetimes? Blerrrghhh. Why yes, there’s your great grandads fossilized pubes :/

The Monkey Spanker Duo is the evolution of the original, highly popular Monkey Spanker.

As with these sorts of products where the company only appears to produce one item (or two in this case, the original and the ‘improved’), I can never tell if you are paying a premium because the device is good or because they need to pay for their expensive factory with just one (or two ) products.

Anyway, the Monkey Spanker is a regular feature in the adverts section of FHM and the like, so at least they aren’t keeping shy about their product.

With just one product review on the MS Duo at time of writing, it’s hard to say whether this is worth the £35.99 asking price.

Cumming Full Circle

And there we go, pretty much my ultimate guide to all things cock ring. I hope you have found this guide helpful, useful, or at the very least, mildly entertaining.

Let me know in the comments section if you have any questions, feedback, or want to share your opinion on which cock ring you think is best.

Well this certainly won’t be to everyone’s tastes. But who said a sex toy has to appeal to everyone? Certainly not the sex toy designers at Wild Fire studios.

If you are a guy that craves the curves of a chubby, plump or larger lady then this may well be the answer to all your prayers.

One big downside for me is the lack of an entry for anal. A sex toy of this quality should definitely have both options available. I appreciate that April Flores isn’t known for her anal shoots, and that she may well not be comfortable having that part of her anatomy intricately plaster casted.

But come on, this is what guys fantasise about and this is what should be catered for.

That’s not to say the pussy isn’t great. I love the folds, the layers of life-like flesh that can be held, squeezed and played with as you fuck April’s awesome cunt.

And even though this is based on April Flores, there’s nothing to stop you imagining one of your other favourtie plumptous, voluptuous beauties. I prefer Dors Feline.

Devils in the Detail

I love the detail on this chubby lovers sex toy. I love how her chubby pussy lips have that thick, fleshy feel and appearence that you see on your favourite BBW porn stars. Pushing those plump lips aisde and sliding your cock deep inside her belly is a real treat, something not every BBW or voluptuous lover will get to experience for real in his life.

Once you are inside her, your cock will experience all her ridges, ribs and bumps as her tight pussy caresses every inch of you.

You can ride this toy in missionairy, or if you’re feeling a little bit more adventerous, put one of your favourite BBW porn movies on, and ride her either reverse or full cowgirl whilst sat on your sofa. You could even take her into the bath, as CyberSkin is completely waterproof.

April Flores Chubby CyberSkin Pussy Toy Video Preview

If you want a better look at what this toy is really like, check out the video above, and see it in a way pictures and words can’t really describe.

Grab your April Flores Chubby CyberSkin Pussy Toy today at Lovehoney.

Or you can just buy a lot of cake mix and keep fattening up your current Mrs. But I don’t recommend that!

So not everyone’s wife, girlfriend or partner is quite so open minded as us kinky guys. And that leads to problems.

You want to enjoy yourself – and why shouldn’t you? – but you also don’t want your significant other finding out.

Which raises the question, where is the best place to hide my sex toys?

Well, I did a little digging around and I have come up with what I think are the 7 best places for us guys to hide our sex toy collections.

Your Office Drawers

No, not your work office – your home office.

If you have a lockable drawer in your home office, it’s the ideal place to keep a toy. Right next to your computer for when you are feeling a little frisky, and comfortably close by so you don’t have to creep around with your bulky fleshlight in your hand.

Your Car

Not just anywhere in the car though, the best place is in the spare wheel area, under the boot carpet.

You can fit a few toys in this little space, and unless your wife breaks down whilst driving your car, these bad boys are gunna be pretty safe from her prying eyes.

In Your Toolbox

Women do not go near toolboxes. Period.

Just be sure to keep your toys wrapped in a plastic bag (noisy though they may well be) as you don’t want grease and grime fucking your expensive toys up.

In The Attic

Not very practical, and just going up there when it’s too hot or too cold is a royal pain the arse. But when was the last time your Mrs clambered up those rickety old steps?

Things are safe in the attic

Your Golf Bag

No one ever suspects the golf bag. Right at the bottom, or in the big ball pocket.

The same goes for any sort of sports bag – ski’s, fishing, that sort of thing.

Just not your gym bag. That’s a recipe for disaster.

The Garage

Unless you’re a tidy and neat kinda guy, then you should be able to find a safe spot amongst all the bugs, gribblies and spiders.

The Shed

A little like the garage, but very much less likely to have a handy door that leads directly in from the house.

Still, unless your wife enjoys a bit of gardening, she is unlikely to find your sex toy stash in the shed.

You missed…

Can you think of any more? Leave a comment and let me know!

Not just any sex toy get’s me excited any more.

So many are just re-hashed old designs or uninspiring copies in shiny new packaging. There are toys that I have thought would make excellent additions to the market, but I have no knowledge of how to make them.

So when I see one of my good ideas has been made into an actual real life physical toy, I get happy. I also get ordering.

The Spider Hands Free Realistic Men’s Masturbator is something that anyone with a Fleshlight will have wished for, surely. Rather than having to slip the can between your mattress and the bed box thing, the guys behind the Spider have attached a swivelly sucker cup joint to the base of a very Fleshlight-looking canister, allowing you to stick it to any surface and get yourself an angle just like that of fucking a real pussy (or arse if your feeling imaginative / have an Fleshlight ass insert).

It’s surprising that this hasn’t been done before – it’s a problem that’s afflicted the male sex toy industry for the past God knows how many years.

Many of the promo pics provided for the Spider show the unit in use in the bathroom. There’s a good reason for this. That powerful sucker suction cup attaches best to a smooth, flat surface – and the most common place to find such a surface in the modern household is on a bathroom tile. Just be sure to give the tile a quick wipe when you’re done – the last thing you want is incriminating circles showing up all over the walls whilst your wife is having a hot steamy bath. Think SatNav style rings on your car’s windshield.

One of the things I actually don’t like about the Spider is it’s weird dumbbell shape. I know they can’t have a 100% copy / clone of the Fleshlight for copyright reasons or whatever.

That’s fine.

And I also appreciate that the Fleshlight is an absolute pain in the arse to grip because it’s so chunky – another problem resolved by the Spider. But it’s just ugly. Maybe it’s just me. Still, you’re not buying this for it’s looks are you?

You may well be wondering then, where is the suction cup?

Well, cleverly the Spider crew have hidden both the pussy opening and the sucker cup in the ends of the Dumbbell. So you unscrew the bottom and suction cup is revealed.

You can then push that end against a wall, twist the little circle suction intensifier (again, think SatNav, very similar), and your Spider is now stuck firmly to the wall. And again, just like your SatNav, this suction cup is attached to a handy hinge which allows you to rotate the Pussy end to whatever angle you desire, creating a large list of sexual-position possibilities. A feature that certainly increases this toys longevity.

At the other end of the dumbbell is the Pussy. A very Fleshlight-esque pussy in fact. However – unlike your standard Fleshlight pussy insert, this one is tighter and the inside of the pussy is different to a Fleshlight.

The pussy design on the Spider is much more realistic, full of bumps and ridges, as you would expect to find on a real lady. It’s a little weird I know, but when the Spider first arrived, I smelt the insert – as Fleshlight inserts smell like weird flour or something which is quite a turn off – but this one smelt quite nice. I still washed it thoroughly before use though, and you should wash yours too.

Hands Free Action

So does it actually work as a hands-free device?

Well… yes! Not perfectly every time, in every position, but when it does, it’s fucking amazing.

Basically just like the real deal.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you can get the Fleshlight to be a hands free device – putting it between the bed and the mattress, sticking it in a shoe, between your sofa cushions etc… but without the suction cup, the Fleshlight wriggles about mid pumping and that pissed me right off.

The suction cup sticks too a number of surfaces as I have mentioned – primarily smooth and shiny bathroom tiles (floor or wall) make the best choice. Also with the bathroom in most houses having a lock, you can pump away without risk of being spotted by probing wives – “I wonder why John suddenly started taking so many baths?”

Other surfaces are not so great – regular wall paper walls for example are pretty much a no-go, as is anything wooden. However, the regular shiny wooden office desk I have in my house actually works pretty well (not as good as a tile though!), and you can angle the Spider nicely to thrust whilst using your PC or Mac… just sayin’

A little tip here – use a spot of spit / water on the suction cup for extra purchase. Mirrors also work, if you’re feeling particularly kinky.

How Does It Really Feel?

Honestly, if you have used a Fleshlight – or a similar product – then you know what this sort of device feels like. The real difference comes from the positions in which you can use the Spider whilst enjoying yourself.

Orgasms with this thing can be intense. In some ways as good as if not better than the real thing (no need to please her!). It certainly helps if you’re really horny when you start using this toy, as it does with most, but this one will definitely get your mood, and consequently your juices flowing much more easily than many other toys.

Does It Work With Other Inserts?

Amazingly… YES! Praise the Lord.

I have used it with my two Fleshlight inserts (the Pink Butt Ultra Tight and Pink Lady Wonder Wave Fleshlight Insert) and I know the ultra-realistic range from Japanese company Utensil Race fit nicely as well, one of which I hope to grab when I can afford it.

This Looks and Sounds Awesome, What’s It Cost?

It’s £89.99.

Wait… come back! I know, I know, hardly a recession friendly toy, right? But let me explain.

At £20-30 more than a standard Fleshlight, this may well seem initially expensive, but there are so many more positional possibilities with this toy that you will be so glad you spent the extra money on this, rather than a Fleshlight.

Also, if you do own a Fleshy, then you can re-use the inserts you already own – and this fits other inserts nicely, as mentioned already. Using the standard insert, then others that you have or purchase later, only extended the life span of this sex toy.

I know it’s not cheap, but honestly, my Fleshlight hasn’t seen the light of day since I received this.

It’s not going to be for everyone, that’s for sure. But if you are in the market for a really high quality toy that you will get a lot of use from, then this is perfect.

Look at it another way – if you spend £60 on a Fleshlight, then buy this a few months later when you begin to regret not buying this initially, this toy is gunna have cost you almost twice as much. And you can buy the Fleshlight inserts separately, so if it’s just a specific pussy or ass you’re after, then consider going that route.

Do I Need To Use Lube With The Spider?

Absolutely! Wow, I’m wincing in pain at the very thought of not doing.

Good news – there is a free sachet of lube included, but I do recommend you grab yourself a bottle of lube if you don’t have any, as the sachet won’t last long – maybe 2-3 wanks tops, if you conserve it.

A little tip here, either add the lube when you are ordering this toy, so they both come together, or head on over here: Camden NHS Condom Shop – and help out the NHS by ordering from them. It’s not as cheap as it used to be but it’s a good cause.

What Positions Can I Do With The Spider?

There are quite a few:

• Doggy
• Spoons
• Wheelbarrow
• Missionary
• Tea Spoons
• Pump
• Screw
• Turtle
• Prison Doggy
• Arch
• Brute
• Standing

And you can always think up more

Can I See The Spider In Action On Video?

You can certainly see a cool video preview of the toy over at LoveHoney, who are the UK exclusive distributor of the Spider.

Click on this link, then scroll down a little bit for the video. Sorry, I can’t insert it here, they don’t allow me to embed their vids :/

Would You Recommend This Product To Me?

I cannot rate this toy highly enough.

I genuinely think this is a great product.

Please do let me know if you have one, and how you are finding it.